#THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEM

[solxamber]

Starstruck || Malleus Draconia

After debuting with a gothic, fantasy-inspired theme, you somehow managed to hit Malleus Draconia’s exact vibe. Now, the fae prince has single-handedly appointed himself your Number One Fan—and he's taking his job very, very seriously.

It’s finally happening. After years of grinding it out in practice rooms, singing until your voice was raw, and dancing until your legs felt like spaghetti, the moment of truth has arrived. The managers want you to decide on your debut concept.

In front of you are two choices: school theme and gothic fantasy. You glance over at the school uniform option and cringe a little inside. At your age? No, thank you.

You’re not about to spend your precious debut years waving around pom-poms and trying to look sixteen. Gothic fantasy, on the other hand? Now that’s got some style. Dark cloaks, intense lighting, elaborate costumes—it’s exactly the drama you’ve been craving.

Your manager stands beside you, flipping through a spreadsheet with an expression that can only be described as financially preoccupied.

“Listen,” he says, in a tone that suggests he’s already decided, “school theme has a mass appeal. It’s relatable. Kids these days love a little campus vibe. And you know, uniform sales have great margins…”

“I’m doing gothic fantasy,” you reply, crossing your arms with a confidence that could stop a truck.

He blinks at you. “Okay, sure, I get the allure. But are you sure? Think of the numbers, the opportunities to connect with the youth. Imagine the adorable school scenes, the casual sports day outfits, the innocent love plots…”

“Imagine the smoke machines and black roses,” you counter, eyes gleaming.

He tries another angle. “Well, just consider the feedback from market research. School themes are—"

“Gothic. Fantasy.”

He sighs deeply, muttering something that sounds suspiciously like, “These artists and their egos,” but gives in, albeit with a look of absolute resignation. “Fine. Gothic fantasy it is. But you’re taking full responsibility if it flops.”

Release day arrives, and your first single—complete with a dramatic, shadow-filled video and costumes that look like something out of a Victorian vampire drama—hits the internet. The reactions are… intense.

Sure, maybe it’s not an overnight sensation, but it’s more than enough to get people talking. Your fans? They’re not your typical “bought it for the vibes” crowd. They are deeply invested.

You’re talking about people who can recite your lyrics like a spell. You even see fan forums cropping up where people dissect the symbolism of your music videos. There’s a post dedicated to the exact shade of black eyeliner you’re wearing, and someone actually counted how many flickers each candle has in the video.

One day, as you’re scrolling through the comments, a particularly poetic fan post catches your eye: “The ethereal aura this idol has given us with their gothic artistry is like a dark gift from another realm.”

Okay, maybe the fandom is a little… intense. But you can’t help but grin.

It all starts innocently enough.

One day, Lilia’s showing Malleus some music videos he calls "classics" (pretty sure some of them are just 20 minutes of bats screeching over synthesizers, but to each their own).

But, as fate would have it, Malleus stumbles across your latest release. His eyes widen as the screen fills with your dark aesthetic, the intense melodies, the dramatic lighting, the black roses swirling around you like a misty dreamscape. He’s hooked.

The video ends, and he turns to Lilia, awestruck. “Who is this human?” he asks, as if you’re some kind of ancient artifact discovered under a full moon.

“Oh, that’s a new artist. Apparently, they’re pretty talented.” Lilia raises an eyebrow, amused by Malleus’s reaction. “Why? Fancy yourself a fan, young master?”

“A fan?” Malleus looks scandalized. “Lilia, I am enchanted.”

Malleus’s enchantment quickly turns into an obsession. He spends the next few days discovering every song, music video, interview, and even those mildly embarrassing “What’s in My Bag?” videos where you show off your essentials (you had no idea one video about your favorite scented candles could attract such intense devotion).

He watches one interview where the host asks if you’re afraid of fae, and you reply with a casual, “Nah, I’d love to visit them one day.”

This is what seals the deal for Malleus. This human is not only a talented artist but also respectful, brave, and curious about the fae world. He has found his idol.

He decides it’s time to support you. And, because he’s the literal prince of the Briar Valley, he does what any fae royalty would: he orders some of your albums.

One hundred of them, to be exact.

In Malleus’s defense, he has absolutely zero concept of money. To him, it’s normal to go big. So he clicks “order” without even thinking, and in his mind, it’s done. Simple.

A few days later, when the delivery truck pulls up with boxes upon boxes upon boxes, Malleus’s reaction is… complicated.

He stares at the delivery man, then back at the wall of albums now stacked in front of him, and mutters, “I may have made a mistake.”

But Malleus Draconia is no quitter. So he devises a new plan: he’ll distribute these albums across the Briar Valley. Anyone who even mildly expresses an interest gets an album handed to them with an enthusiasm that’s both heartwarming and slightly terrifying.

It doesn’t take long before every fae in the valley knows your name, and soon enough, your music is echoing through the mystical woods. You, a mere human, are now an icon among the fae. The legend of the human idol with the beautiful music, who’s brave enough to express curiosity about fae life, spreads like wildfire.

Meanwhile, you’re in the middle of a heated argument with your manager. Despite your loyal fanbase, your concert venues are… sparsely filled, to put it kindly.

“I don’t know how to make this any clearer,” your manager says, waving his phone around for emphasis. “We need more fans, more sold-out shows, or it’s not going to be viable to keep booking these venues!”

You’re about to respond when his phone dings. Then again. And again. Suddenly, it sounds like he’s strapped a vibrating blender to his hand. Ding, ding, ding, dingdingdingding.

“What the…?” He stares at the screen, his expression shifting from annoyance to shock. “I—it says you’ve sold out every single venue. Wait, wait—there’s a waiting list for tickets that haven’t even been put on sale yet?”

He looks at you, blinking in astonishment. “I never doubted you for a second!” he declares with all the sincerity of a used car salesman. You roll your eyes. “Sure, pal.”

Later that night, you decide to check the fan forum for yourself. And something strikes you as… odd. Suddenly, all these usernames sound like they belong to a fantasy RPG. You scroll through names like “Elder_Oak_Watcher,” “Pixie_Phenomenon,” and “Darkthorn_Dreamweaver” and can’t help but wonder if your fandom has fully committed to your fantasy vibe. You chalk it up to hardcore fans. Nothing suspicious, right?

The agency celebrates by booking more venues, announcing a new merch line, and—wait for it—a raffle event for a day with you. You’re thrilled but mostly relieved that things are finally looking up.

Cut to the Briar Valley, where Malleus gets wind of the fan meeting announcement. His eyes practically sparkle with delight.

“I have a chance to spend time with them?” he murmurs, clutching the announcement poster like it’s a sacred artifact.

“Of course, you do!” Lilia chimes in, grinning. “And if you’re really eager, I could help improve your odds.”

Silver, overhearing, asks. “Are we really doing this?”

“It’s for young master Malleus!” Sebek hisses, practically vibrating with devotion. “If he wishes to meet this human, we will ensure he wins that raffle! Even if I don’t understand why he’d—” He pauses, scowling. “—lower himself to that level for a human.”

Lilia waves a hand dismissively. “Oh, Sebek, let Malleus enjoy his hobby! It’s rare to see him so enchanted. Besides, a bit of human culture never hurt anyone!”

Silver shrugs, giving Malleus a supportive smile. “If this makes you happy, Malleus, we’ll all enter on your behalf.”

Sebek bristles. “Very well, if it is the young master’s wish, I, too, shall enter—though I don’t understand this human obsession.”

Lilia claps him on the shoulder. “Consider it a show of loyalty to the crown.”

Sebek mutters something about “weird human tastes” but agrees nonetheless. And with that, your raffle odds have just quadrupled, courtesy of the most enthusiastic and unhinged fae entourage you never knew you needed.

Malleus beams, and for once, the usual silence in Briar Valley is replaced with something very unexpected: the excited murmurs their prince getting ready for his ultimate fan meeting.

It’s your first “Unboxing Fan Mail!” livestream, and you’re bubbling with excitement as you tear through letters and packages. You’re halfway through reading a pile of cute fan letters when one catches your eye: an envelope with a hand-drawn gargoyle. This thing has personality.

“Whoa…,” you mutter as you carefully open it. Inside, you find a letter, written in such flowery, old-fashioned cursive you almost need a magnifying glass. Clearing your throat, you read a part of it aloud:

"Your craft has brought light and delight to the shadows of our realm. It is rare to encounter such reverence and elegance in a human. Know that your courage and respect have earned you an esteemed place in the hearts of those from lands beyond mortal reach. Enclosed is a token of my admiration—a rose from my homeland, blessed to be as timeless as the admiration I hold for you.

Sincerely,

M.D.”

It takes a second for the words to fully sink in. Your gaze drifts to the box sitting beside you, which you unwrap with careful fingers. Inside lies a single Briar rose—its petals dark and lush, radiating a faint magical shimmer that tells you this is no ordinary gift. The rose feels alive, pulsing softly with ancient magic. You gently lift it, brushing a fingertip along the petal’s edge, feeling the cool, unyielding softness.

And suddenly, you feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “Oh… wow,” you manage, voice wavering. You blink back tears but don’t quite succeed, pressing a hand to your mouth in a mix of joy and disbelief. “Thank you so much, M.D. This is… this is beautiful. I don’t even have words.”

Back in the Briar Valley, Malleus is watching the livestream playback with his usual calm demeanor… until he sees you crying. His face falls, and he looks at Lilia, horrified. “Did I… upset them? My letter was meant to honor them, not… bring tears.” He’s practically pale. Well, paler than usual.

“Oh, don’t fret,” Lilia chimes in with a laugh, patting Malleus on the shoulder. “They’re just happy! Look how much they loved it. You brought them pure joy!”

Malleus blinks. “So… I have not offended them?”

“Far from it! In fact,” Lilia says with a knowing smirk, “I think you’re officially their number one fan.”

Malleus’s eyes narrow with sudden, unshakeable determination. “Of course, I am,” he says, as if this is the most obvious truth in the world. “Who else could claim that title?”

You have no idea what you've gotten into.

It’s your first concert. The crowd is buzzing, their voices creating a low hum that vibrates through the walls, yet you’re backstage with a knot in your stomach that feels about the size of a boulder.

You shift from foot to foot, hands clammy as you grip the mic, wondering if this is actually a good idea or if you should just make a break for it now and head for the hills.

A voice echoes through the earpiece: “Three minutes, everyone!”

You take a deep breath, steadying yourself as the band gives you encouraging nods. All those years of training, of dreaming, of rehearsing until your feet felt like they’d fall off—this is what it was for.

Your fans are out there, waiting. You can already hear some of them chanting your name. And slowly, your nerves start to melt away, replaced by a surge of adrenaline.

The lights dim. You step onto the stage, heart pounding, and the audience erupts. Thousands of people, waving lights and singing the opening notes of your debut song back to you.

The energy washes over you, filling every corner of your soul, and suddenly there’s no room left for doubt.

The music pours out of you, and the crowd’s response is instant, electric. They're clapping, cheering, and singing along. You almost forget to breathe as you realize—they know every word.

It’s in the middle of your second song, during a moment where the lights are shining right on the front row, that you spot something peculiar.

Wait… Are those… fae?

Not just one, but three of them. And they’re not your typical, “blending in” kind of fans, either. One of them—the tall one with the horns—looks like he’s just stepped out of some mythical kingdom (which, granted, he kind of has). There’s an unmissable aura around him, and his eyes are fixed on you like you’re the most mesmerizing sight he’s ever seen.

The other two fae are close by, each one unique but unmistakably not human. And a very sleepy human is nodding off standing there.

You try to keep performing, but your heart’s pounding for a new reason now. The tall fae—he’s so intense. There’s something captivating, almost otherworldly, in the way he’s watching you, like he’s fully captured by your music. It’s a bit like he belongs here and also… really doesn’t. Yet somehow, he makes it work.

Finally, you reach the interaction part of the concert, the moment where you get to pick a “lucky fan” from the crowd for a backstage pass at your next show. Your mind goes blank for a second as you look over the crowd, but the sight of those fae at the front makes your decision easy. You raise a hand, pointing directly at the tall one, still staring at you with that intense look in his eyes.

You can feel the collective shock from the crowd as you exclaim, “You! Yes, at the front! You’re the lucky winner!”

The tall fae’s eyes widen ever so slightly, a look of pure delight crossing his face as his friends react with either shock or something bordering on exasperation. He steps forward a bit, visibly thrilled, and nods to you as if he’s just received the highest honor imaginable.

Lilia, standing beside Malleus, gives a knowing chuckle. “My, my, our prince has been blessed by fortune,” he teases.

Sebek, looking utterly scandalized, hisses, “The Young Master? At a human’s concert again? With a… backstage pass?” His voice drips with disbelief.

Silver, with a half-smile, murmurs, “Well, he does look happy. That’s what matters, right?”

And Malleus, basking in the moment, seems too happy to notice their reactions. He meets your gaze, nodding as if to say, Yes, it is I, your devoted fan.

And suddenly, you’re beaming, too, because in this moment, you realize—you’re not just performing for humans. You’ve captured the attention of beings beyond the mortal world, and something about that feels… magical.

It’s the day of your next concert, and you’re backstage, mentally preparing yourself. You’d think after the first show, the nerves would be easier to handle, but that flutter of excitement is still there. Just as you’re rehearsing a few last lines, your manager bursts in, a mix of terror and wild enthusiasm lighting up his face.

“You… you’ve got to see this,” he stammers, pulling you toward the edge of the curtain.

“Uh, okay?” You’re confused, but you follow him to peek out onto the crowd.

What you see is not what you expected.

The venue is packed. And not just with your usual audience—no, tonight, the crowd is full of fae. Like, really full of fae. A sprinkle of beastmen, a handful of humans (who look varying levels of petrified), but the overwhelming majority? Fae of every type.

You spot wings, horns, a few floating orbs of light that might just be small fae spirits, and an array of gleaming, wide eyes that are laser-focused on the stage.

In the front row, you catch sight of a familiar face. The tall fae with horns who won your backstage pass last time—he’s here, and still utterly entranced. On impulse, you give a little wave, feeling a bit silly, but somehow unable to resist.

To your surprise, he just stands there, looking stunned, until the black-haired fae next to him nudges him with an elbow. Then, almost shyly, he lifts his hand and waves back.

From Malleus’s perspective, everything is perfect. His people have fallen under your spell just as he has. Watching you emerge to greet the crowd, he’s already enraptured.

You look out into the audience, and then—to his amazement—you look right at him and wave. He freezes, utterly smitten, until Lilia nudges him. After a second, he waves back, his heart doing something he’s quite sure it’s never done before.

The concert begins, and it’s an experience beyond anything you’ve known. The fae audience is surprisingly intense—they’re quiet during the softer moments, like they’re absorbing every note, and then wildly enthusiastic during the high-energy parts.

For a second, you wonder if your music has some kind of magic in it, too. Their reaction fuels your own performance, until the final note echoes out and the crowd erupts in applause.

Then comes the moment of truth: the backstage pass winner’s meet and greet.

You’re resting in the designated room, savoring a post-concert cookie when you hear… raised voices?

“Only the winner is allowed in!” your security guard insists, sounding exasperated.

“And I’m telling you,” someone snaps back, “I won’t allow my master to go in alone to meet a human!”

Curious, you step out to find the same quartet from the front row having a tense standoff with security. The tall one—the same one who keeps catching your eye—looks as serene as ever, while his silver-haired friend seems half-asleep despite the commotion. You raise a hand. “It’s okay! Let them all in.”

The guard reluctantly steps aside, and the four file into the room. There’s an awkward pause as they stare at you, clearly debating who should introduce themselves first. The tall one steps forward, and you offer a small smile.

“So… we finally meet. What’s your name?”

“Malleus,” he says, his voice deep and slightly reverent. “Malleus Draconia.”

You’re about to respond when he holds out a hand—a hesitant, almost formal gesture. Before you can shake it, the green-haired fae scowls, clearly offended. “That’s His Highness to you, Don't causally touch him human!”

You freeze mid-motion. Highness? Fae Royalty?

“Yes,” Malleus says mildly, “though I’d rather you not call me that right now, Sebek. This is a personal occasion.”

“Oh, you’re… royalty.” You take a very controlled breath, willing yourself not to faint.

Malleus nods, completely unfazed, though Lilia snickers under his breath and gives you a little wave. “I apologize if that was not clear before. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

You regain your composure. You're a professional. “Right, royalty. Got it. No big deal.” (It’s a huge deal, but you can scream into your pillow later.)

That's when it clicks. M.D, Malleus Draconia, Fae Prince.

In an attempt to break the tension(and to not spiral), you say, “By the way, I loved the little gargoyle you drew on the letter you sent me. It was cute.”

Malleus blinks, visibly taken aback. “You… liked the gargoyle?”

You nod, smiling. “They’re nice to look at.”

For a second, Malleus just stares, and it feels like his entire face is starting to glow. “You appreciate gargoyles?” he says, in a tone that sounds like you’ve just admitted you’re secretly royalty, too.

“Uh, yeah. They’re kinda cool.” You laugh, and Malleus looks like he’s been blessed by every possible deity.

Meanwhile, Sebek mutters something vaguely exasperated, and you catch a snippet: “This human has actually caught the his interest…”

Lilia laughs, giving Malleus a playful nudge. “Well, isn’t that something? I guess you truly are their number one fan, Malleus.”

Malleus nods seriously. “Of course. I am honored to be recognized as such.” His eyes gleam with utter sincerity.

You chat a bit more, exchanging small talk, until you mention offhandedly that your company has been discussing hosting a concert near Briar Valley due to the recent increase in fae fans. Malleus immediately perks up.

“Oh, well, you should simply perform in Briar Valley,” he says, as if offering his personal venue is as easy as lending a pen.

“Wait… seriously?” You look at him, not sure if he’s joking.

“Of course,” Malleus replies earnestly. “I would be delighted to arrange it. As the prince… and your number one fan.” His eyes are so bright and genuine, you can’t help but laugh.

“All right, I’d love that,” you say, heartily amused and impossibly charmed.

As they start to leave, an idea pops into your head. “Hey, Malleus, do you want a picture together?”

He blinks, clearly surprised. “A picture? I… would be honored.”

You take out your phone, getting into position, and then, on a whim, you lean over and kiss him on the cheek right as you snap the photo.

From the doorway, Sebek lets out a scandalized squawk, and your manager looks like he’s about to pass out. But Malleus? He’s wide-eyed, staring at you like you’ve granted him the greatest gift in existence.

With a wink, you murmur, “Consider it a special gift for my biggest fan.”

For a second, Malleus just stands there, wide-eyed, and then, slowly, a delighted, utterly smitten smile spreads across his face.

The concert in Briar Valley turns out to be way more fun than you could’ve ever imagined. You were nervous at first—after all, you’re literally performing in a hidden fae realm with the kind of audience that probably doesn’t even need speakers to hear you.

But once you get started, the vibe is incredible. The fae are enthusiastic, cheering and applauding in that slightly mystical way they have. Their clapping sounds like wind chimes, and every so often, you think you see little trails of magic light in the crowd.

And right in the front row, like always, is Malleus Draconia. He’s the picture of regal elegance, standing out in his official Briar Valley attire, looking like he’s attending some kind of royal ceremony. You’d almost laugh at the contrast—Malleus, dignified and regal, surrounded by a crowd absolutely hyped for a pop concert. And, because you can’t resist, you give him a cheeky wink mid-song.

Malleus doesn’t miss a beat; he looks like he’s been struck by some sort of enchantment himself. His cheeks faintly color, but he doesn’t look away, a faint, dazed smile on his face. He’s living his best fanboy life, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy every second of his reaction.

After the concert ends, Malleus insists on personally escorting you around Briar Valley. You’re beyond thrilled—after all, it’s not every day that a fae prince offers to give you a tour of his homeland. Sebek and Silver, ever loyal, trail behind, with Sebek grumbling under his breath every five seconds about “proper decorum” and “human interactions.”

Meanwhile, Lilia is there for the pure entertainment of it all, throwing you little mischievous grins whenever you glance back at him.

As you’re strolling down a cobblestone path lined with Briar roses, you feel the first drop of rain on your cheek. “Oh no, I didn’t bring an umbrella…”

But the second you say it, there’s a flurry of movement. Malleus, Sebek, Silver, and Lilia all open umbrellas in perfect unison, like some kind of magical boy band choreography. Sebek even has an extra umbrella on standby, which he’s holding out to you with a solemn look.

But before you can notice it, Malleus shoots him a look that could probably summon a thunderstorm, and Sebek reluctantly withdraws, muttering darkly under his breath about “Etiquette.”

Meanwhile, Lilia, never one to miss an opportunity, flings the extra umbrella into a bush with a casual flick of his wrist before you can even notice.

He turns to Silver and Sebek with a bright grin, “Come now, let’s give the two some space! Isn’t it so romantic?” Sebek looks horrified, about to argue, but Lilia’s already dragging him and Silver away, leaving you alone with Malleus.

So now it’s just the two of you, standing in the rain, with Malleus holding his large, intricately decorated umbrella over both of you. The umbrella’s big enough that it shields you from the rain easily, but that doesn’t stop Malleus from stepping a little closer, just to be sure.

There’s an awkward, giddy silence as you continue to walk side by side. You can feel the warmth radiating from him, and your hands brush against each other occasionally. Finally, he clears his throat and says, “Did you enjoy the concert? Briar Valley’s… first, of this sort.”

“Oh, definitely!” you say, grinning. “It was amazing to see so many fae enjoying the music. And you were right up front! You didn’t have to—”

“It was… my pleasure,” Malleus replies, his deep voice a little softer than usual. “I wanted to see everything as closely as possible.” There’s an endearing awkwardness to him that only makes him more captivating.

From the moment you met him, you thought Malleus was just a really dedicated fan—sweet, if a bit intense, but ultimately adorable. Sure, he’s got that tall, dark, and slightly terrifying vibe with the horns and the whole royal aura, but he’s also so polite and gentle that you can’t help but find it cute.

But now, as you walk under the same umbrella, his warmth just inches away, it hits you with sudden clarity. Oh, I am so, so screwed.

Because you might like him a little bit. Scratch that—a lot a bit.

Malleus glances at you, noticing the sudden shift in your expression. “Is something amiss?” His voice is gentle, genuinely concerned.

“Oh! No, I’m fine. Just, uh, a little tired from the show,” you say quickly, brushing it off.

Malleus doesn’t look entirely convinced but accepts your answer with a soft nod. Then, almost shyly, he extends his hand. “Here. It’s quite cold… if you’d like…”

You stare down at his offered hand, feeling your pulse jump. It’s such a small, polite gesture, but it sends your heart racing. You slip your hand into his, feeling his warmth seep into your skin, and a small smile tugs at your lips.

As you walk together under the umbrella, Lilia, peeking from behind a corner with a very exasperated Sebek in tow, smirks to himself. "Ah, young love," he sighs dramatically, as if he were watching a play unfold.

Back under the umbrella, Malleus is telling you about the history of Briar Valley, his voice gentle and filled with pride. You don’t catch half of it because you’re too focused on the way he looks down at you, his eyes soft and completely captivated. Every so often, he leans in a little closer, as if he can’t help himself.

Eventually, you reach the end of the walk, the rain easing off, and Malleus turns to you, looking slightly hesitant. “I hope this evening has been enjoyable for you… I wished for you to see the beauty of Briar Valley, but I… I fear I may have monopolized your time.”

You laugh softly. “Oh, trust me, I think you’re doing a great job of showing me around. Plus,” you add, “it’s not so bad sharing an umbrella with my biggest fan.”

Malleus’s expression lights up, a rare, breathtaking smile breaking across his face. “Yes,” he agrees softly, almost to himself. “Your… biggest fan.”

Before they leave, you impulsively pull out your phone. “Hey, Malleus, would you like to take another picture together? You know, as a memory of Briar Valley?”

Malleus’s eyes widen slightly, but he nods. “I would… like that very much.”

You pose, holding up your phone, and just as you snap the picture, he looks at you with a strange spark in his eyes, he leans over, just barely hesitating, and presses a gentle kiss to your cheek.

Now you’re the one who freezes, absolutely flustered but trying very hard to play it off. You clear your throat, laugh a little too brightly, and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as if it’s no big deal. “W-Well, um, I guess we’re even now!” you stammer, hoping he doesn’t notice the warmth creeping up your face.

Malleus gives you a small, satisfied smile, clearly pleased with your reaction, while Sebek is beside himself, practically vibrating at a frequency that could power one of your concerts, as he splutters, “YOUNG MASTER, THIS IS—YOU CAN’T JUST—A HUMAN—”

But Lilia just laughs, giving Sebek a playful whack on the back. “Come now, Sebek, it’s all in good fun!"

Sebek looks torn between yelling and fainting, muttering to himself about propriety and why, oh why, would the young master be so entranced by a human?!

You just barely manage to keep it together until they leave, but the second you’re alone, you collapse onto the nearest couch, burying your face in a pillow with a ridiculous grin plastered across your face. Because Malleus Draconia, fae prince and possibly the most loyal fan you’ve ever met, just kissed you on the cheek.

Somehow, you know this is just the beginning.

The fan forum has always been your little comfort zone. You’ve got your dedicated fans, who post lovingly questionable fan art, some surprisingly deep theories about your lyrics, and even the occasional meme thread.

Today, though, you’ve decided to go on a bit of a lurking spree. You want to see what people really think—especially the critics. And you do find critics, of course, all happily airing out their grievances. But what you didn’t expect is the replies.

Each negative comment has an oddly formal, razor-sharp response that’s practically dripping with eloquent disdain, all signed "M.D." You read on, completely baffled until it dawns on you: this is Malleus.

This prince has taken it upon himself to haunt your comment section, like a very sophisticated, slightly unhinged ghost. You try to keep from snickering too loudly as you scroll through his hilarious, painfully dignified rebuttals.

I-like-snails: “I don’t understand the hype. This idol is all looks, no talent.”

M.D.: “Your failure to comprehend excellence in its truest form is unfortunate. To imply that this individual relies solely on appearance demonstrates an astonishing lack of insight. Consider expanding your understanding of ‘talent.’ Signed, M.D.”

real-idol-fan: “I’ve seen cooler concepts than this ‘gothic fantasy’ nonsense. So pretentious.”

M.D.: “Ah, but what is more pretentious, dear critic? To appreciate grandeur or to boast of one’s ‘cool’ concepts with all the subtlety of a loud footstep in the night? Gothic fantasy, as you call it, possesses a depth your mind has yet to comprehend. Signed, M.D.”

aura-aura: “This idol’s lyrics don’t even make sense. They’re just trying to sound deep.”

M.D.: “An intellect as shallow as a millpond would indeed struggle to navigate profound lyrical waters. I urge you to revisit the lyrics in question after reading a book or two on metaphor. Signed, M.D.”

You have to clutch your sides as you scroll through the thread. The idea of Malleus, a literal prince, defending you with words like “millpond intellect” and signing every single comment with his initials—it’s ridiculous.

Ridiculous and, at the same time, ridiculously touching. You’d never asked him to do this, never even thought he’d care about what random people thought of you, but here he is, waging a dignified, solo war in the fan forum trenches.

After several minutes, you take a deep breath and manage to calm down, even though you know you’re never going to look at your fan forum the same way again.

It's interview time and things are going smoothly. You’re answering questions about your latest song, about the creative process behind the music videos. All very normal stuff—until the interviewer grins, pulls out a picture, and holds it up for you to see.

You squint and realize, with dawning horror, that it’s the photo. The one of you and Malleus standing close under the same umbrella, him looking at you like you hung the stars and you, very clearly, smiling back at him. Whoever took it managed to capture a moment that looks... well, almost romantic.

"So," the interviewer says, leaning in with a gleam in their eye, "is this someone special?"

You’re ready to laugh it off, to dismiss it casually with a polite “no,” but... you freeze. Looking at that photo, at the way Malleus is watching you, something catches in your throat. “No, of course not” dies on your lips.

Your mind rewinds to all the times he’s shown up, how he’s silently supported you, those comments on the forum—and suddenly, you can’t deny it, not even to yourself.

“No comment,” you manage to say, but it sounds weak, even to you.

The interviewer’s brow arches, and they chuckle knowingly. Meanwhile, you’re scrambling internally. Oh no. Oh no, you’re in trouble. You’re in deep trouble.

The raffle winner is announced, and your mouth drops open when you hear the name. “Malleus Draconia!” Your eyes scan the crowd and—yep, there he is, beaming in a way that could light up an entire stadium, looking like he’s won the lottery.

Well, technically, he has, but there’s something about his expression that suggests this is the best moment of his life. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you feel the universe smirking, because it knows exactly what it’s doing by sending you this unattainable, royally handsome fae prince.

You’d had some time to think since that interview. The photo, the “no comment,” the dawning horror in your gut as you realized that yes, you’re down bad. Horrifically so. In the week since the interview, you’d come to accept it. The only issue? He's so out of your league, it’s practically laughable.

Meanwhile, Malleus is practically vibrating with excitement. As soon as his name was drawn, half of his kingdom exploded in celebratory fanfare. (To be fair, most of the Briar Valley population had entered the raffle in his name. “Statistical advantage,” Lilia had called it.)

By the time he gets home, he’s already lining up outfits, preparing what he calls “appropriate tokens of affection.”

“Perhaps... a small gargoyle?” he muses, clutching a miniature stone sculpture that weighs about as much as a small human child.

Silver clears his throat. “Maybe... consider something less... heavy?”

Undeterred, Malleus sighs but places the gargoyle back, moving on to his backup plan: a solid gold gargoyle instead.

Lilia, in the background, chimes in with, “Just give them a rock and say it’s a Briar Valley special!” Malleus ignores him.

The day arrives, and you’re waiting at a cafe for Malleus. The producers are buzzing around, setting up lights and cameras for some wholesome footage to share with your fans. You’re running through the usual script in your mind, but then Malleus walks in, looking... well, looking like Malleus. Tall, regal, glowing with excitement, and completely out of place in the modern cafe.

You’re trying to keep your cool, reminding yourself that he’s just a fan here to meet his favorite idol, but when he brushes his hand against yours as he takes his seat, you’re thrown into chaos. Wide-eyed, flustered chaos. In fact, you’re so visibly affected that one of the producers has to muffle a squeal.

You glance at Malleus, and for a second, it’s like the two of you are in your own little world, oblivious to the cameras. You’re laughing, he’s smiling in that polite but endlessly fascinated way, and it feels like the meet-cute scene in every cheesy K-drama ever made.

After the cafe, the producers decide to set up at a bowling alley. It’s cute, casual, and definitely low-stakes—or so you think. You explain the game rules to Malleus, who nods in solemn understanding. Then, you hand him a bowling ball and stand back, figuring he’ll get the hang of it soon enough.

Except... Malleus does not get the hang of it.

He lifts the ball with such enthusiasm and raw power that when he bowls, it lands with a thunderous bang. The ball rockets down the lane like it’s been launched out of a medieval trebuchet, shattering the pins with explosive force and completely obliterating the machinery behind them.

The bowling alley is plunged into silence. Even the producers are speechless.

You, however, are not. You burst out laughing so hard, tears actually stream down your cheeks, and you double over, clutching your stomach. Malleus, meanwhile, looks at the wreckage he’s caused with a sheepish expression and asks, “Did I... do it wrong?”

You’re still laughing too hard to answer. His expression is priceless—equal parts apologetic and baffled. For all the confusion on his face, he’s smiling too, in that warm, captivated way, like every sound of your laughter is worth all the destroyed bowling alleys in the world.

One of the crew members has to remind you both to stop standing in the wreckage.

After the... eventful bowling alley scene, you suggest something calmer, like feeding ducks at the park. You arrive with a bag of crumbs, ready for a relaxed, picturesque afternoon.

Malleus seems thrilled at the prospect of feeding these “quaint little birds.” He declares “I will bestow upon them many crumbs.”

But, as it turns out, ducks seem to be as unnaturally drawn to Malleus as your fanbase is to you.

The ducks start waddling toward you, sure, but when Malleus bends down to offer a handful of crumbs, they completely mob him. You watch in bewildered amusement as the ducks clamber onto him, flapping and honking, climbing his shoulders, even perching on his head like he’s the world’s fanciest scarecrow.

“I... seem to be... a duck magnet,” he murmurs, looking helplessly at you, as if apologizing for attracting every duck within a ten-mile radius. He’s totally overwhelmed, but also somehow completely fine with it. If you find this amusing, then it’s a noble cause in his mind.

They hop onto his lap, perch on his shoulders, and one brave little duck even nestles itself on his head, honking proudly as it looks down at him.

You’re giggling again, snapping photos with your phone as he stands there, a bemused fae prince turned accidental duck king. Malleus, standing there covered in feathery chaos, looks up at you, his expression softening at the sight of your laughter. You think you see the smile on his lips, and you’re certain this day can’t get any better.

Dinner with Malleus feels like the culmination of every daydream you’ve ever had and every moment you tried to ignore the thrill he gives you. The restaurant is all soft lighting and quiet music, and you’re seated across from him, barely able to touch your food because you’re too busy trying not to stare. Or at least, not to make it obvious you’re staring.

But it’s impossible not to. Malleus, in the soft glow of the candles, looks ethereal in a way that’s borderline unfair. He’s taken off his usual high-collared cloak, and he’s looking at you with an openness that feels both heart-wrenching and unbelievably warm. His eyes hold that steady, unwavering gaze that has you feeling more exposed than any stage spotlight.

You’re talking about something light—music, maybe, or the utterly ridiculous game of bowling earlier. But the words are just filler, a flimsy attempt to distract yourself from the absolute burning feeling in your chest, a feeling you’re starting to realize is a little too big to be brushed aside.

It’s love.

It’s as terrifying as it is exhilarating. You’re looking at him, and it’s all you can do to not reach across the table, grab his hand, and say something incredibly unhinged like, “Hi, you don’t know it yet, but we’re soulmates.”

He leans in, head tilted as he listens to you with that pure, undivided attention. And then, his lips quirk into a faint smile, and you’re done for. Absolutely, completely done for.

Dinner wraps up, and he offers you his arm as you both leave the restaurant and step into the cool night. You take it, fingers curling around his elbow, and feel the warmth of him through the fabric.

The street is quiet, and the moon is hanging low, casting an almost dreamlike glow over everything. And you—well, you’re looking at him like he’s the moon itself, like he’s the only thing worth looking at in the whole universe.

You’re walking slowly, so slowly it feels like the moment is stretching forever, but somehow that’s not enough. You can’t stand it; you can’t stand just holding his arm and pretending this feeling isn’t eating you alive. So, finally, you stop, turn to him, and without even a thought to what this might mean for your career or the scandal it could stir, you say, “Malleus?”

He looks down at you, eyes soft, waiting.

And you just… go for it. You lean up, heart pounding so hard it’s a miracle he can’t hear it, and kiss him.

The world stands still. For a second, you wonder if you’ve overstepped, if maybe he’s going to pull away or question you or—

But then he’s kissing you back. Immediately. Thoroughly. His hand rises to cup your cheek, and he leans in with a gentleness that completely undoes you. You feel the warmth of him, the tenderness in his touch, and it’s enough to make your knees weak.

When you finally pull away, breathless, you look up to find him watching you with an expression that’s somewhere between wonder and the same sort of ache you’re feeling.

And right now, the only thing that makes sense is to kiss him again.

So you do.

This time, it’s softer, slower, like you’re both savoring it, letting the world fall away until it’s just you and him in the middle of the quiet, moonlit street.

When you finally pull back again, there’s a lingering silence. You don’t know what to say. How do you explain to someone that you’re completely undone by them? That you’re staring at him and barely restraining yourself from saying things like, “Let’s make matching T-shirts,” and “You’re my favorite human being, even if you’re technically not human.”

He’s still gazing at you, lips curved in that barely-there smile, looking utterly unphased yet somehow entirely aware of the fact that you’re melting. He’s looking at you like you’re something delicate, something precious, and it’s honestly making you want to pull him down and kiss him senseless all over again.

But instead, you just laugh, quiet and breathless. He raises a brow, a faint smirk playing at his lips. “Are you laughing at me?” he asks, in a tone that’s half curious, half amused.

“No,” you say, “I’m just… realizing something.”

“And what’s that?”

You look at him, eyes shining, and feel that burning again, that truth too big to ignore. “I’m completely in love with you.”

He doesn’t look shocked; instead, he just leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. And in that moment, you feel it again—the absolute certainty that you’re screwed. Because here’s a man who looks at you like you’re his whole world, and now that you’ve had a taste of this—of him—there’s no going back.

Masterlist

[bontentrio]

ATEEZ GETTING OUT OF THE FRIENDZONE

san x gn reader + mingi x gn reader (separated)

part 2 to ateez stuck in the friendzone! read that part so this makes sense

tw: slow burn + veeery dramatic + angst + fluff

a/n: both have the slowestttt slow burns in history of friends to lovers omg my heart did kinda break a little while writing them lol so keep in mind that both are VERY dramatic. maybe even cliche but honestly i just wrote what i, personally, enjoy reading. i’m just a girl in love with love 🥹

masterlist

SAN

san found himself attempting to hide his smile while you told him about your awful date from a few days ago. you were laying down with your head on his lap as san casually untangled strands of your hair, while you rambled on and on about the misfortunes he secretly thought were fortunes in disguise.

“who talks about their mother on the first date? like the whole time i mean, of course it’s okay to mention one or two things following the context of the conversation” you said, moving your hands dramatically to prove your point “but the whole time? i tried to switch the topic of the conversation towards work and can you believe he told me about what his mother does for a living before telling me what HE does for HIS?”

san couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh. you were so cute and he was so happy and relieved that the date had failed.

“he should go to therapy” he said, in between giggles. “right?! sigmund freud would have been thrilled to have him as a patient” you exclaimed, laughing too.

after a few moments of cracking jokes and laughing about the situation, you turned your head to face san. “so what about you?” you asked. he looked down at you, smile on his face still. “what about me?”

“have you gone on dates lately?” you asked. he threw his head back, shaking it slightly “with what time? i’m too busy with schedules” he answered, half lying. it’s true that he’s very busy with his idol duties, but he always managed to make time for you. he knows he could easily use up that time to go on dates, but for obvious reasons that you still were ignorant to, he didn’t. to you, he was just an introvert.

“but are you not interested in anyone?” you pushed, lifting your head and sitting up to face him properly. san chose to avoid your eyes, not trusting himself to keep his own secret. instead, he looked to the city on his right, suddenly finding the building architectures more interesting. he noticed that the air in the terrace got warmer too, and the concrete platform you were sitting on got harder. or was he the one that got warmer and stiffer? “no, i don’t think so” he lied, but you knew him enough to see through it. “liar, you’re blushing”

“well it is an intimate question” he answered, attempting to smile in order to play it off. you shook your head no “you blushed and your left eye twitched a bit. that was definitely a lie and as your best friend i want to know!” you exclaimed, grabbing his hands. if only you knew the effect you had on him.

when he came back from tour, he was determined to confess. but now that the perfect opportunity arose, he couldn’t open his mouth. questions and different negative scenarios plagued his mind, convincing him that maybe it was a bad idea. he much rather work on moving on than lose you as a friend.

“are they that special to you?” you asked, in a much quieter tone of voice, noticing his silence. he nodded, staring at your eyes, hoping you could notice the love they held whenever he looked at you. but despite his desperation, you didn’t. “they are very lucky then, you genuinely are amazing in every aspect sannie”. you continued, going back to your original place with your head on his lap, but still holding his hands. he kept staring at you, if only you knew.

“thank you” san managed to say.

———

“how fast can you come over to help me with something?” you asked san on the phone, as he exited the practice room. it was like the stars aligned, because he had just finished for the day. “i can come over right now, are you okay?” he asked, worried something may be wrong despite you sounding relatively okay. “i can’t pick an outfit and- shit my aunt his calling me, invite yourself in when you arrive, i’m in my room and you already know the lock number of the door” you said, before hanging up.

outfit for what?

———

so that’s how san found himself sitting on your bed on a friday night, numerous pieces of clothing scattered all over without care. he scrolled through some unread messages while he waited for you to try on a different outfit for your new date. yes, new date. as if his heart haven’t just healed from last time.

“i matched with someone on this app and they immediately invited me on a date so now i’m having a fashion crisis” you had explained to him as soon as he entered your room. why was it so hard for you to realize that your dates have been failing for a reason?

you appeared once again, now wearing an outfit that honestly took san’s breath away as soon as his eyes landed on your figure. it was nothing too extravagant, actually, it was rather simple, but it was enough to make san’s head spiral. specially when you twirled around to show the outfit from the back, since your shirt had an open back.

“so? what do we think?” you asked, eyes filled with hope.

san was conflicted: he was 100% sure he has never seen anyone look more beautiful, more dashing, more perfect. but, it wasn’t for him. he didn’t want anyone else to look at you like that, they would never come remotely close to the way he feels about you.

“san-?” you started to ask after a few seconds of silence, but got interrupted by him: “don’t go on that date”

you looked at him confused, as he stared back with the same surprised face. that really had slipped from his lips before he realized what he was saying. you fucked up big time san, he thought to himself.

“why? do i really look that bad?” you asked, turning around to face the mirror in order to examine your body and face. he noticed the way your eyes dimmed, as you carefully traced your eyes over your figure, finding little imperfections that made your face turn into a sad frown. san felt his own heart shatter at the sight, and before he knew, he stood up and quickly hugged you from behind, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

“sannie?” you asked, startled by his sudden action and making you momentarily forget about the insecurities that started flooding your mind. you looked at him through the mirror: even if he was leaning down on you, he was still much wider, making you feel very small in his arms. unconsciously, you lifted your hand and patted his hair. san lifted his head, looking at you through the mirror as well, and your eyes interlocked.

“you’re perfect y/n” he whispered. “i’m sorry if i gave you the wrong idea, you look beautiful and your date is very lucky”. he was trying to be supportive, but traces of sadness and desperation were evident in his face. enough for you to notice. you turned around, and the same hand that was patting his head went down to his cheek, holding him in place to look at you.

“what’s wrong san?” you asked, softly. your thumb traced comforting circles on his cheek, and you could feel his arms tighten around you as he closed his eyes.

“go on that date” he whispered in a shaky voice, before adding “you look beautiful”.

you stared at him confused for a few moments, not really knowing what to say. then, he kissed your forehead and, with the little bit of strenght he had left in him, unwrapped his arms, stepping back. he grabbed his jacket and went to the door, but not before shooting you another sad look and saying “like i said, your date is very lucky”.

he left, heart in his hands, slowly breaking with each step.

you cancelled the date.

———

san couldn’t sleep that night, he kept tossing and turning as his mind wandered about what you were doing with your date. were you still having dinner? no, probably not since it’s like 2 am. maybe it went so well that you invited them over for coffee at your place, something that will probably lead to something else. something he didn’t even want to imagine, since it wasn’t him committing those sins.

maybe it was time to move on, after all. he wants you to be happy, truly, so if your happiness doesn’t include him, then he should at least be supportive. and in order to do that from the bottom of his heart, he should move-

*knock knock knock* he heard, coming from the door. he decided to ignore it, thinking that it was probably mingi, so he turned around and closed his eyes, pretending he was asleep.

“maybe he’s asleep, i should come back tomorrow but thank you soenghwa” he heard you say from behind the door. he never got out of bed faster, as he sprinted to the door and opened it widely.

there you stood, now dressed in a familiar oversized shirt and baggy pants. completely different from the outfit he last saw you on, but to him you still looked beautiful. you looked at him with wide eyes, as seonghwa smirked next to you.

“i’ll leave you alone” he said, before he made his way to his room and shut the door behind him.

you stood there awkwardly, avoiding his eyes. you came here with a question, but now that you had san right in front of you, thoughts were scattered all over your mind and you couldn’t say a word.

“come in” he said, sensing your internal dilemma. you nodded in response, as you entered and made your way to his unmade bed.

“did i wake you up?” you asked. san shut the door and shook his head “actually i couldn’t sleep”

“me neither” you said in a low voice.

“how was your date?” he asked, unsure of what to say. he sat next to you on the bed, looking at you while trying to decipher your expression. you turned your head to san’s bedside table, finding the small plushie you once gifted him randomly. you smiled. “i cancelled it”

“what? why?!” he asked, with surprised wide eyes. you turned back to him. “i suddenly didn’t want to go, that’s it really. so while i was tidying up my room i found this shirt” you said, fiddling with the ends of the shirt that looked a little too big on you “the one you once lent me after we got stuck in the rain that one time. i told you i would wash it and give it back, but i didn’t. why didn’t i give it back to you?”

san stared at you in silence.

“so i realized it still had your perfume, and before i knew it, i had put it on. then i started thinking about you, about us. you’re my best friend, you know? but as i was laying down on my bed, i was thinking: what if you were not? what if my dates always failed for a reason?” you continued, as your fingers reached for his. “what if the reason they always failed was because i always searched you in them? so again, before i realized i was standing in front of your apartment, but with one question in my mind”

san could feel his heart beat increase and his breath shorten.

“what will happen to us and our friendship if i told you how i feel? how i think i always felt even if i didn’t know it?” you asked, looking at him scared.

“you’re dumb” he said, loud enough for only you to hear. that didn’t surprise you, what did was the way he immediately let go of your hand in order to hug you close, bringing you closer to his body. “what will happen? how would i feel? y/n you’re dumb because that’s how i’ve been feeling for a long time now” he said, hands leaving your waist and craddling your face. san stared at you, and now you realized that his eyes looked different: they held love in them. something you always searched on random people in dating apps, yet were never able to find. instead, it has been right in front of you this whole time.

“i love you” he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. finally, he thought. he finally said the words he has been keeping locked deeply inside him for years. you smiled, as your nose touched his. “i love you too, i’m sorry i just realized”

maybe it was time to give you the silver necklace he bought you on tour, since now the timing was right.

MINGI

mingi missed you, a lot. he hadn’t heard from you since you stormed out of his house a week and a half ago. he had left you a couple of texts apologizing, and even attempted calling you, but to no avail. you had disappeared, and he didn’t blame you, he was stupid enough to let you go. in fact, that’s the thing he regretted the most about the fight: not chasing after you.

so he did what he knew best: he took his misery and transformed it into work, to be precise, he wrote three songs, all about his feelings, the situation in itself and you.

three different scenarios that made him hear yunho’s voice calling him dramatic in his mind. to be honest, he knew he was being a little dramatic about the situation. he knew that you probably just needed time to cool down, and that if his apology was good enough you would forgive him in a heart beat, because, in the end, he knew you loved him. maybe not in the way he wished for, but you loved him nonetheless.

mingi stared at the ceiling in silence, wondering what were you doing while he layed on his bed feeling miserable. did you miss him too? were you also thinking about him? he was certain of one thing only: he wanted to see you. it didn’t matter to him if you opened the door or not, he needed to at least hear your voice through the door.

he checked the time: 11:47 pm, almost midnight. fuck it, he thought. he stood up and quickly got dressed in a speed record time, tied up his shoes and grabbed his keys and song notebook in the process. by 11:55 pm he was already closing the door of his car.

as mingi started driving, questions also started flooding his mind: will you hate him if he suddenly showed up? what if you had invited someone over? shouldn’t he have discussed this with one of his friends first just in case?

questions, questions, questions.

no answers.

soon enough, he found himself standing in front of your apartment door. he could easily ring the door bell, knock on the door or simply use the spare key you gave him once for emergencies. yet, he was unable to do any, frozen in place as he mentally debated on what to do.

mingi decided to do something odd, something he would have probably laughed at if he saw it in one of the movies you usually forced him to watch with you: he took out his pen and notebook, ripped off one of the pages and wrote on it. then, he slid it under the door and left.

“i’ll tell you everything -m”

———

you have always been a hopeless romantic, mingi knew that perfectly well. you believed in happy endings, and that love and friendship can win over everything. so why hasn’t he heard from you still? did you not get the note? should he leave another one? no, that would be too pushy, it was only two days ago.

questions, questions, questions.

still no answers.

mingi was sulking again, and honestly it started to worry seonghwa and san, who watched as he walked back to his room right after dinner, without saying a word during the whole night. honestly, he was just too lost in his thoughts. their pair exchanged a look, before following him.

“mingi, hold up, everything okay? you’re more… distracted than usual” seonghwa said, carefully choosing his words. mingi hummed in response, nodding as he stopped in his tracks. “yeah, there’s just a lot in my head” he answered, not looking at his friends. “let us hear it then” san said, patting his back and leading them towards the living room.

the trio sat down on the sofa they had bought a few months ago, the one you had scolded them about because it seemed very expensive and too hard to clean. they had all laughed, but soon enough realized you were right when mingi spilled a bit of sauce on it. the stain was still there.

“so? what’s wrong?” seonghwa asked once they all got comfortable. mingi sighed, looking down before he started spilling everything that had happened, from two weeks ago until now. he noticed the eldest nodding along the story, but neither of them said anything until he finished.

“when exactly did you leave this note?” san asked, fidgeting with his bracelet. “two days ago” mingi answered. san’s eyes went wide, as he muttered a small fuck before he sprinted towards the kitchen. seonghwa and mingi exchanged a look, both equally confused at their friend’s actions. after a few moments and very weird sounds that came from the kitchen, san appeared again, with a crumbled up yellow post it in his hand. he handed it to mingi.

“the hell is this? it has food stains san, gross” mingi said with a disgusted face as he barely touched the paper. “open it, i found it this morning” san said, sitting down next to him again. mingi gave his friends a strange look, before carefully opening the crumbled up piece of paper. as he read, his eyes widened in surprise.

“what time is it?!” he exclaimed. “9 pm” seonghwa answered, checking the time in his phone. mingi muttered a small fuck, before putting his shoes on, and grabbing his bag.

“i’ll be back in a while” he said, before shutting the door behind him.

seonghwa looked at san, confused. “what the hell did the paper say?” he asked. san picked it up from the floor and showed it to him:

“8 pm, our special place”.

the hand writing was yours.

———

mingi was almost sure he broke one or two speeding laws on his way to the park where he hoped you were still waiting at. he cursed san for not telling him sooner, even if he knew it wasn’t really his fault to begin with. the park wasn’t far from his apartment though, just a short 10 minute drive. as cliche as it sounds, it was the park were you both met.

at that time, around 6 years ago or so, his mind revolved around perfection, hard work, pressure, debut. so he would succumb to overwhelming feelings pretty often, that forced him to need some time alone. that’s how he found a park nearby, and specifically, one peculiar tree that caught his attention for some reason. he used to sit down under it, notebook on his lap and pen between his fingers, as he scribbled down some random thoughts that plagued his mind during hard moments. he didn’t really plan to turn his words into songs yet, it was just his way to deal with stress. he used to find these little moments very special: it was like he was reconnecting with his inner, truer self, and not the mean facade he wore in front of his soon to be members. yeah, some of them irked him, like that wooyoung guy, but he didn’t mean to be that rude all the time. so, to escape the constant pressure kq fellaz was facing in between the company walls, he found solace in a park, but specifically, he found solace under that tree.

he could remember the day he met you like it was yesterday. he remembers all the stress he was feeling, debut date coming closer and closer. everyone was on edge, from the members to the staff. he had also recently come back from morocco after successfully shooting his first music video! but he couldn’t deny it: as much as he was excited, he was already feeling a little tired. he needed some alone time, just himself with his thoughts. so he found himself walking towards his favorite spot in the park.

only to find you there, sitting down under the tree. his tree to be precise. and you were writing on a pink notebook with a fluffy pen. mingi felt like he was looking at a reflection of himself, but instead of being comforted by it, he felt annoyed. it was HIS tree after all!

“excuse me, this is my spot” he said, coming into your field of vision. you looked up to him, pausing your hand and taking an earphone off. “excuse me?”

“this is my spot” he reiterated, making you chuckle slightly. “the tree you mean? does it have your name or something?” you asked, finding the situation hilarious. he rolled his eyes in annoyance, why did nothing go his way?! “listen, i had a shitty day and i need to sit there for a while, so can you leave?”

“no, i got here first. plus there are tons of other trees here, it’s a park after all” you said, putting your earphone back on and turning your gaze to your notebook. he stayed still in his place in front of you, making you huff in annoyance at his persistence. “look dude, i am not going to move. you can either sit on the opposite side or leave, i don’t care but stop bothering me” you continued.

mingi really really reaaaally needed to be at his safe place, too overwhelmed to funcion rationally, so he rolled his eyes and sat on the opposite side of the tree.

that’s how the story started: at opposite sides of the tree. soon enough it got replaced by sitting nearby, and eventually next to each other. some times you would even bring snacks to share in silence, as you both wrote down your thoughts on your respective notebooks. once he debuted, he broke the silence for the first time, urging you to listen to his song. after that, you started talking more, about music, shows, your respective jobs and life in itself. the safe place you both found under the tree, was also found in each other, quickly realizing you often shared the same thoughts and views about the world.

the story started under a tree, and he hoped it wouldn’t end there too. he needed you to be there, because he wasn’t ready to lose not only his best friend, but also his safe place. even the tree would become stained from the pain. and he would have nothing left, just questions, questions, and more questions about different what ifs.

you weren’t there.

but mingi wasn’t about to give up anytime soon. he started running towards the direction of your apartment, forgetting that he had parked the car on the opposite direction. his legs were aching, and he felt like he was a bit out of breath, despite all the idol training he has been enduring for six years. but he kept running.

until he spot you in the distance.

“y/n!” he yelled. he saw you stop in your tracks and turn around to his direction, confused at the sudden call of your name. once you spotted him running towards you, you sprinted to him.

his body collapsed against yours, as he hugged you tightly, like you would disappear if he let you go. mingi hid his face in the crook of your neck as you wrapped your arms around his back. you could hear his quick heart beat from how close he held you, and you were sure he could hear yours too.

after a while, mingi lifted his head from your neck, and looked at you. “why are you crying?” he asked, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “i thought you wouldn’t come, why are you crying mingi?” you asked, repeating his own actions, but on his cheeks. he giggled, he didn’t even realize he was crying. “i thought i lost you” he said, truthfully.

the park was dark, the only lights came from street lights. so, for outsiders, you probably looked like a random couple having a dramatic moment. definitely not mingi from idol group ateez and his best friend y/n reconciliating.

“i’m sorry” he whispered, locking his eyes with yours. they still held tears, that threatened to spill depending on your answer. you shook your head “no, i’m sorry mings, i shouldn’t have walked away like that. plus i didn't even give you a chance to explain”.

“i’m sorry for not showing you the songs, for not chasing you, and for being too much of a coward to not face you directly” he apologized. you hugged him again, shushing him. “i shouldn’t have pressured you to show me, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do”

mingi looked at you again, and bit his lip. “can i still show you though?”

“it’s not necessary, mingi, it’s fine real-“ you started saying before he interrupted you, taking your hand and leading you towards the same old place from before. “i want to” he said, determined.

you let him whisk you away.

———

back at the peculiar tree that was iluminated enough by a street lamp a few meters away, he sat you down at your usual spot. he sat down beside you, as he pulled out his notebook from his bag. mingi gave it to you.

“mingi, this really isn’t necessary-“ you started saying once again. “please” he interrupted, with pleading eyes. so you took his notebook and opened it on the first page. you already read that song, it was the first one he ever wrote a long while back. “read the last ones”

you turned the pages, until you found them. mingi looked at you nervously, starting to feel fidgety at the thought of you realizing his deepest secret, the only one he hid from you. he just hoped you wouldn’t hate him. he scanned your face, puffy eyes filling with tears once again as realization hit you. you turned your gaze back to him with wide, surprised eyes.

“mingi- what? wait, hold on” you stammered, as tears fell from your eyes. you quickly set his notebook aside to grab your own bag, taking out your new pink notebook, your diary. you handed it to him, saying: “open it on august 5th”

he stared at you confused, and slightly unsure too, since you’ve always been pretty secretive about what you wrote there. he found the page and read:

“august 5th.

so i realized something, that i’m almost too afraid to write even here. i’m scared that if i admit it, i’ll have to face a sad reality. i think i’m in love with my best friend, isn’t that stupid? that’s how i feel, at least. i haven’t seen him in a while because of his work, and i feel like i’m slowly losing my mind. why do i only feel complete when he’s with me? scratch that, why am i even writing this?

anyways, i’ll probably die with the secret”

“now turn to september 16th” you said, avoiding his eyes.

“september 16th.

i’m in love with my best friend. i love mingi. how insane is that? and how stupid? he is my best friend, for god’s sake. but i can’t help the way i feel, specially when he’s so annoyingly observant. like for example, the other day he noticed my pen was dying, so today he surprised me with a new fluffy pink pen. i hate him for making my heart swell at such gestures. specially because i know I KNOW that’s what best friends do.

anyways i’m not gonna use his pen because i decided i’m going to preserve it forever”

“and now, tun to november 10th” you muttered. mingi realized it was yesterday’s date.

“november 10th.

i still love him. and i fucked up. but i’m still in love with him”

he closed your notebook, turning towards you. he found you with your face on your knees, as you hugged your legs, too embarrassed to face him, despite now knowing his feelings. he loves you too, with the same devotion, with the same desperation and intensity. mingi loves you, his best friend.

“look at me, y/n” he whispered. you slowly lifted your head, hesitantly looking at him. the way you both looked at each other held more intimacy than ever. mingi slowly reached for you, bringing your face closer to his. his hold was shaky, almost unsure, this was a whole new territory. he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“i love you” he admitted.

too many questions, that finally got an answer.

“i love you too” you whispered.

taglist: @yoongles2025 @reallychaoticwoo

(to be added please let me know)

[machveil]

König Headcanon: His Older Sister

expanding on this post I made about König and his siblings because I’ve been thinking about it

König loves his family, he really does, but if given the opportunity he’d definitely throw hands with his older sister. despite König’s strength and height, his sister treats him like a child (I mean, he is the youngest)

sure, his older brothers will get on his nerves sometimes, but his sister goes for his throat like it’s second nature. he hasn’t cut his hair or brushed it out? “What happened to you? Don’t they have mirrors in the military? Scissors?”, chuckling when he furrows his brows and scoffs. oh god, his eyebrows— they’re thick, bushy, and he doesn’t necessarily take care of them. his sister definitely makes fun of him the for long, stray brow hairs, tells him she’ll get her tweezers just to see him scurry away, “Nein— keep those away from me!”

she knows he’s a mamas boy too, sometimes she’ll egg him on in front of their mama so he has to hold his tongue. even worse, she’ll make a comment and their mother will agree with her. König can feel his eye twitch when his sweet, little mother laughs with his sister - silently storming off to his childhood room to cool off

“Hey König.”, she likes seeing him straighten up when she calls him by his callsign, “Can you get me a glass a water?”. he doesn’t want to, he’s comfortable in his spot on their childhood couch, and he doesn’t plan on getting up, “Get it yourself.”, he huffs, crossing his arms

but she has a card to play that always works, ever since König was little she’d use it. “Papa! König won’t—“, he’s quick to scramble up, shushing her yelling, “Warte! Hör auf— shut up, I’ll get it.”. smug, he hates her smug smile as he grumbles under his breath

that said, his sister was his biggest supporter during his childhood. if anyone gave König trouble within earshot of her she’d threaten them. he was embarrassed at the time, shrunk back when she talked back to his bullies, but as an adult? König really appreciates what she did, he didn’t realize how much she cared as kid

he’s never properly thanked her out loud for sticking up for him, but he tries to pay her back subtly - her favorite snacks are always overstocked when he comes home for a visit, a little extra cash haphazardly jammed in her wallet. she never says anything either, but she always saves a portion of her dinner for him, tells him, “Hey, I’m a little full… you want this?”, and König always lights up

sure, he wants to strangle her sometimes, but they still love each other

[kkayyerr]

Mean! Rafe with pogue! Reader when she regresses like how is he? Is he gentle? Does he tease? Those kinds of things, thank you xx

I got you!

I loooove writing headcanons.🫶🏻

Warnings: Age regression, Dark!Rafe, controlling behavior, manipulation, slight abuse.

– He would probably first met you when you would visit his sister. He knew that you were one of the Pogues, but it wasn’t what he found interesting about you.

– Your behavior wasn’t usual for a Pogue. You were quiet, shy and somewhat childish. Somehow he didn’t found you as annoying as the rest of them, he enjoyed observing you quietly, analyzing your behavior.

– Rafe won’t admit his interest in you to anyone, especially not to his sister, always making snarky comments about you when talking to her.

– „What is she, a five year old?”

– He wouldn’t mind saying things like that to your face, laughing when you will give him a pouty face, that he would secretly find adorable.

– „What was that, little girl? Too sensitive to handle a small tease?"

– But when he would first saw you in the fight that his friends started with Pogues, he would push you to the side, holding you in his hands, so you won’t get hurt. He would find a lot of excuses about that later, when his friends would confront him about being soft to the Pogue.

– Rafe would probably give you a little smirks every time he would see you at his house or somewhere else.

– When he would find out that you are regressed, he would wait for the perfect opportunity to ask Sarah to babysit you for her, and when that opportunity will come, he would make sure that there’s only you and him in the house. He would also make sure that this would be the last time you were talking to Sarah.

– „You know, I’m not like your friends, kid. I actually care about your well-being.”

– He would play with your mind, making you actually believe everything he said.

– „Baby, you’re too precious to think about that Pogue’s shit. Just let me take care of you, alright?"

– Soon enough, the brave Pogue girl will become daddy’s little doll.

– „No one will take care of you better than I do, baby.”

– He would make sure that you are way too eager for his attention and affection to actually leave, or even think about going back to the Pogues.

– Rafe would teach you manners, watching as you slowly turn into the true Kook, because he would be damned if he would let his baby’s brain being stuffed with that Pogue’s bullshit.

– He would dress you himself, adoring your little pink outfits and small ribbons in your hair, that he would braid himself.

– Everytime you would ask to see your friends he would just change his manner to the cold one, and watching as you slowly forgetting about wanting to see them, now crying because of lack of affection.

– „I told you baby, I don’t want you around your friends no more, they are bad influence. Let’s just go to the Topper’s house, yeah?”

– You won’t say „no”, because you know that there will be consequences for you.

– He won’t be using physical punishments. He would just left you alone when you will need him the most, waiting for you to come begging for forgiveness, hoping for at least crumps of his love.

– His favorite words are „yes, Daddy”.

– Rafe wouldn’t hesitate beating the shit out of the Pogues right in front of your eyes, if they would try and talk to you.

– When you will start crying because of the shock he would just hold you close, being much gentler than he usually was.

– „Daddy just wanted to protect you, baby”.

– You would never question his actions, because „Daddy always knows better”.

– Always.

[orimuraa]

⋆｡˚ ꕥ That old fashioned love - OT7

(synopsis) ➼ special dates with enhypen ↺

ot7!enhypen x fem!reader ➼ fluff ➼ petnames, kisses ➼ wc 899

𝑳𝒆𝒆 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈 - 이희승

“can i look now?” you ask, having absolutely no idea where you were as the blindfold prevented any vision. “not yet baby, wait just a couple more minutes,” you hear heeseung chuckle. “okay, you can take it off now,” he lets go of your arm (that was leading you) and nervously waits for your reaction. the first thing you see after taking off the blindfold is the beautiful, pink cherry blossoms, decorating the ground, the trees, and fluttering around in the sky. “hee- it’s beautiful,” you say in awe, twirling around to take in your surroundings. you and heeseung had always talked about wanting to have a date in the cherry blossom park during the spring, so here you were, holding heeseung’s hand, savoring these sweet and quiet moments with him, and exchanging sweet whispers of “i love you”s.

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈 - 박종성

lately, you had been super busy and stressed just from your life. so, jay took this as an opportunity to take you out on a nice date to help you de-stress. "jongie? where are we?" you asked cautiously, slowly starting to recognize your surroundings. "oh my- is this where we first met?!" you exclaimed, instantly recognizing where jay had brought you. "yep! i thought it would be nice to have a picnic maybe? i brought some lunch for us," jay chuckled, adoring your surprised face. "thank you jongie, i really needed this," you signed, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips. "anything for you angel, i just want you to be happy," and happy you were.

𝑺𝒊𝒎 𝑱𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒖𝒏 - 심재윤

"sweets? get ready to go cause i just reserved us a table at our favorite restaurant!" jake smiled, making little jazz hands. if he wasn't so damn cute and someone you loved very much, you would probably yell at him for only giving you a 2 hour notice to get ready. "ah! i have to start getting ready!" you exclaimed frantically, rushing off to your room. "who takes 2 hours to get ready?" jake mumbled. by the time you were done, it was almost time to leave. "ready sweets?" he asked, a sweet smile on his face. you nodded, linking arms with your handsome boyfriend, also leaning in quickly to press a peck to his cheek. it was these small dinner dates that were what you looked forward to most. even the staff at the restaurant recognized you guys.

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏 - 박성훈

the sound of skates gliding on the ice was oddly comforting to you and sunghoon. it was your guys' special place together where lots of memories were made. as sunghoon finished tying your laces, you didn't realize he had finished, too busy admiring his features. "baby? you okay?" he asked, noticing that you spaced out. "huh? oh yeah! i was just admiring your face.." you blushed, suddenly feeling quite warm. he let out a smooth laugh, revealing his adorable fangs. "alright, c'mon princess, let's get skating!" he smiled, lacing his fingers with yours. this was sunghoon's happiness. both of his loves in one place. the skating rink was probably you and sunghoon's second home, but it was a good home.

𝑲𝒊𝒎 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒐𝒐 - ���선우

it's no secret that kim sunoo LOVES skincare. so he would always love spa dates with you whether it was a diy one at home, or actually going to a spa together. today was your day off and since it had been quite a stressful week, sunoo decided to help you relax a bit with a spa date at home. he prepared all the products and face masks but also not forgetting your favorite take-out. "sun sun! is this all for me?" you exclaimed, your heart warming at the special date sunoo had prepared for you. "yup! my baby deserves only the best!" he smiled, pulling you in to kiss your sweet lips. "now, let's help you relax hm?" he whispered against your lips, kissing them once more.

𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒐𝒏 - 양정원

"wonnie? are we where i think we are?" you asked, memories coming back to you of the place you were in. the park was still so pretty and the play-structure still stood tall. the place where jungwon confessed to you. "you remember it baby?" his eyes softening at you. "of course i do! it's where you confessed to me," you smiled back at him, giving his hand a squeeze. he led you by the hand over to the same grassy hill that he told you he liked you. "i love you so much," he whispered against your lips, holding you close to him. you could practically hear his heartbeat. "i love you more wonnie," and with that, you both leaned in, connecting your lips together.

𝑵𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒂 𝑹𝒊𝒌𝒊 - 西村 力

today, riki had told you to clear your schedule and that he had something special planned for you. so here you were, a blindfold over your eyes and a laughing riki "guiding" you to a mysterious location. once he finally took off the blindfold, you were greeted with a bunch of adorable cats staring up at you. "ki, did you bring me to a cat cafe?" your eyes darted to all the cats that surrounded you and your boyfriend. "yes ma'am! i remember you had mentioned once that you really wanted to go to one," he grinned, chuckling at how cute you looked. "oh thank you ki!! i love you so much!" you exclaimed, jumping up to hug him. "i love you too little love. anything to make you happy."

thank you to my sae bae, @saeivra, for the idea! i hope you rest up well bby! <333 if you enjoyed, please like and reblog! its much appreciated!

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: @en-diaries, @k-films, @k-nets

⚘. Perm taglist: @vmpivory, @yuvany, @seozii, @pinknjm, @greentulip, @jomisu, @nxzz-skz, @ancnymcnzjy

[im-just-a-mississippi-girl]

Friends or More?

Pairing: Colten Gunn x female!reader

Category: Angst/Fluff

Word count: 1,467

Summary: Falling for your best friend is risky, even more so when he doubles as a coworker. After five months away, you return with a clear head, or so you thought. Will this turn into friends to lovers or will end in unrequited love?

Warnings: None

A/N: It’s been a while since I’ve been on here and I’m excited to be back! This is my first time writing for Colten so bear with me! @ylenyasstuff I hope you like it ❤️

Masterlist

Taglist

Gif is not mine. Credit to owner

It’s been five months since you left your job at AEW and now here you are, back to give this another shot. Why did you leave in the first place? Because of Colten Gunn and it’s not in a bad way. You worked as a booker and little by little, day after day you noticed your feelings towards the oldest Gunn brother was changing.

You were on the verge of falling for him.

When you first arrived at AEW, you didn’t have any intention on falling for anyone but then came Colten Gunn knocking on your little makeshift office door. Austin was preset as well but, truthfully, you didn’t notice him at first.

“Welcome to AEW!” Colten beamed, arms outstretched as if to show off the place. “We couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be the first to give you the grand tour.”

You were taken aback at how excited he was to be given this task. You didn’t know what to expect when you arrived, especially with Tony Kahn being busy with boss man duties. He assured you that you would be in good hands for your first day. You expected him to send The Young Bucks or Kenny Omega or Britt Baker or Willow Nightingale to be the welcome wagon and your guide for today but lo and behold, he sent the Gunns. You’re not complaining but it definitely surprised you.

“Thanks for the warm welcome,” you smiled. Movement from behind Colten caught your attention and that’s when you finally noticed his brother. Austin was standing back watching the interaction, a small smirk playing on his lips. What’s that about? You shrugged it off and introduced yourself to them.

The Gunns showed you around and before long it felt like you all had known each other for years. It was comforting to have an instant friendship so early into your career at AEW.

Fast forward a few months and things were still great. You were booking huge matches and doing your best to help tell stories that people would remember and connect with. Your friendship with Colten and Austin was going great, although you ended up being closer to Colten in the end. Maybe that wasn’t as good of a thing as you thought.

As time went on, you began to notice your feelings changing towards Colten. No. You cannot ruin this friendship with unrequited love. You tried to bury those feelings down and pretend they didn’t exist. You couldn’t fall for arguably your best friend. Unfortunately, those feelings became too hard to hide and you knew you were in trouble. You were at risk of losing your rock. Your anchor. Your best friend.

Why are you stressing out so much about this? What if he feels the same and all is well and good? Well, you have a rule — Do not date your coworkers.

That rule is why you asked Tony Kahn for time away. You needed space from Colten to clear your head and forget about those feelings. Surely it was just some weird ‘I like him because he showed me around and has been there for me’ kind of thing. Right?

Time will tell.

You pushed open the doors to the arena AEW was at this week and started tracking down Tony. You finally managed to find him talking to some crew members on the ramp way leading to the ring. The conversation wrapped up and you cheerfully greeted him. “Hi Tony! What do you have for me?”

Tony filled you in on what’s going on in regard to your job and the matches that will be taking place tonight. He showed you to a similar makeshift office that you had on your first day. That’s when the memories came rushing back. All the times Colten hung out with you when he wasn’t needed for backstage interviews or matches. It’s all going to be fine. It has to be.

Thankfully you didn’t see Colten at all or Austin either. Some of your friends came by to welcome you back and expressed how happy they were to see you again. All felt right, even when you were packing up some things to head out in the next ten minutes…. Until Colten popped up in the doorway. Oh no. Breathe. It’s fine. You’re just friends.

“Sorry I hadn’t been able to come by and welcome you back,” he noticed your bag on your desk and you sliding your laptop in its case. “I’m about to be heading out too. Want me to walk you out?”

You tried not to look nervous as you zipped up your bag. “Y-yeah. That would be great.” Just friends. You’re just friends despite the fact that your heart is doing flips and your hands are slightly shaky. You threw your bag on your shoulder and grabbed your phone. When you looked up at Colten, he was watching you with a look you couldn’t quite place.

The two of you walked and talked about what you’ve missed. You couldn’t help but laugh at a story Colten told about how badly Austin embarrassed himself in front of this girl at a bar. “It couldn’t have went any worse. I swear his face was as red as lobster.” Colten laughed.

His laugh. His contagious smile. His gorgeous eyes. They were not helping you convince yourself that you and Colten are just friends. Get it together!

“I have a question.” Colten said once you both had arrived at your rental car. You motioned for him to continue, not trusting your voice to be steady enough to answer. “Why did you leave? Did something happen? Did someone say or do something to make you feel like you didn’t belong?” His face was covered with concern and a small mixture of hurt and anger at the thought of someone being the reason you felt the need to leave. Little does he know, he’s the reason.

You thought about how to answer for a moment, searching for the right words. “I..” you paused, taking a breath, knowing that what you were about to say would change everything. “I left because of you,” you quietly replied. You saw the look on his face — confusion, hurt, a flash of anger even appeared on his face. “It’s not because of anything bad!” You were quick to reassure him. “It was because I have this rule and you were going to make me break it. And I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t ruin our friendship.” You rambled, hoping he heard it all.

“What’s the rule?” Colten asked after a moment to let the information you just gave soak in. “I swear I didn’t mean to do anything bad or wrong or upset you.”

You took another breath and knew your rule was absolutely about to be broken. You knew in that moment your feelings for Colten weren’t going away any time soon, if ever. “The rule is don’t date your coworkers. I always prided myself on following that rule at every job I’ve ever had but then I come here and meet you and then little by little feelings changed. I could feel myself starting to—“ you cut yourself off. You didn’t want to scare him away, but honestly, it didn’t look like he was going anywhere as you finally looked into his eyes. He had this look that you’ve seen in movies. Admiration.

“You left because you were falling in love with me?” Colten’s eyebrows raised and he couldn’t resist the smile that made its way to his face. “I’ll be honest. I was miserable when you left and I thought it was just because we were close friends but the longer you were gone, Austin and Jay and Juice were convinced it was because I had fell for you. And finally, I didn’t argue with them anymore about it because I knew they were right.” Never once did Colten’s eyes leave yours. In the middle of his confession, he had taken your hands in his.

No unrequited love? No rejection? You wanted to cheer but refrained. This moment was too perfect to ruin. “I left to clear my head but now that I’m back, I know you’re worth breaking my rule for. Especially after what you just said. I was falling for you then and I’m falling for you now.”

“I’m happy you’re breaking your rule for me. I’m just curious about something though.” A smirk played on his lips. You didn’t know what he was about to ask but it was clearly going to be mischievous.

“What’s that?”

“How many more rules are you willing to break for me?”

A blush crept up on your cheeks as you playfully smacked his chest, a laugh escaping your lips. It’s clear you’re in for a ride with this one.

General Taglist: @legit9thlunaticwarrior @magicalbuttertarts @1dluver13xx @sunshinevirus @wwenhlimagines @crowleysqueenofhell @jackson-nickthedate @omg-im-such-a-masochist @kmc1989

[ask-the-koopa-family]

AGAIN A STORY (it happened in the past...) about Mario and Bowser's relationship...

Art/OC/story are mine dont copy/repost!

#bowser

#supermariobros

#supermariobrosoc

#mario

In the grand throne room, Bowser stands near his throne, his gaze fixed on the distant horizon as he wrestles with thoughts from his past. Cherry enters, her face glowing with excitement, clutching a golden envelope in her hands. She walks up to him, gently nudging him from his reverie.

Cherry:

Bowser, look at what we've received! An invitation to a royal ball at Peach's castle!

Bowser: (raising an eyebrow, his suspicion obvious)

A ball? At Peach's castle? Why would she invite me to one of her events? And you know very well who will be there...

Cherry: (reassuring, placing a gentle hand on his arm)

I know you don’t want to see Mario, especially after what happened with... Betty. But maybe this is an opportunity to show everyone that we can move forward, that we’re not defined by our past.

Bowser: (clenching his fists, his voice filled with a rough edge of pain)

Move forward? You know what he did! How can I forget that, Cherry? Every time I see him, I relive that moment. It's not something you easily forget.

Cherry: (taking his hand, her gaze tender but steady)

I know... I’m sorry. I’m not asking you to forget, but maybe it’s time to show that we’re stronger than our grudges. Peach invited us; she might also want to ease the tensions. And we can’t live in the past forever... Betty wouldn’t want that. I’m not asking you to forgive, but to show the kingdom that you are no longer the tyrant king. That you are capable of nobility and greatness. Do it for us, do it for Betty... to show that nothing can bring us down, not even Mario.

Bowser: (looking down at their intertwined hands, his voice softening)

Do you really think that’s possible? That this ball could change anything?

Cherry: (smiling gently, her confidence unwavering)

I believe it can, yes. And even if it doesn’t, at least we would have tried. We’re together, and as long as we are, anything is possible.

Bowser: (sighing heavily, then meeting her gaze)

Alright. For you, Cherry. But I warn you, if he causes any trouble, I won’t hold back. Don’t expect me to be friendly with that plumber.

Cherry: (kissing him lightly on the cheek)

Thank you, Bowser. I know everything will be fine.

Later, at the Royal Ball at Peach's Castle

The castle is alive with color and light, flowers draping from every corner. Cherry, glowing in an elegant dress, enters the ballroom arm in arm with Bowser. The guests whisper in surprise, some even gasping as they look upon them. Peach approaches them with a genuine, welcoming smile.

Peach: (extending her hands warmly)

Cherry, Bowser, I’m so glad you could come. It means a lot to me.

Cherry: (smiling brightly)

Thank you for the invitation, Peach. The castle looks beautiful tonight.

Bowser: (nodding, his voice gruff but sincere)

Yes. Thank you very much, Peach.

Peach: (gesturing with a slight smile)

I’m delighted that you’re able to enjoy the evening. Cherry, I have something to show you in the greenhouse; you’re going to love it. Bowser, you’re welcome to join us if you wish.

Bowser: (giving a slight shake of his head)

No, I’ll... explore a bit on my own. Go ahead, have fun.

Cherry:

Alright, dear, see you later!

Cherry and Peach disappear into the greenhouse, leaving Bowser behind. He slowly makes his way to a balcony, seeking a moment of peace from the chatter and music.

The night air is crisp, the moon casting a gentle glow over the kingdom. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, as if letting the silence calm his thoughts.

A hesitant footstep breaks the quiet. Bowser’s eyes open slowly, and he doesn’t turn as Mario approaches.

Mario:

Good evening, Bowser...

Bowser: (without turning around, gripping the balcony rail, his voice cold)

Mario. What do you want?

Mario: (keeping a respectful distance, his tone sincere)

I just wanted... to talk. I know it’s not easy for you to be here. I didn’t expect you to come.

Bowser: (scoffing, his sarcasm biting)

Yes, being surrounded by people who’ve always seen me as an enemy, it’s a perfect evening for me.

Mario: (with a quiet sigh)

I’m not here to provoke you, Bowser. I know how you feel... about Betty. I know you blame me, and you have every reason to. What happened... was tragic. But I didn’t want it to happen.

Bowser: (turning to face him, his eyes blazing with anger)

Tragic? It was your fault, Mario! You... killed her!

Mario: (bowing his head, his voice calm but heavy with regret)

I know. And I live with that every day. But I’m here tonight to try and ease this hatred between us. It was an accident. I didn’t want her... to die. I know you may not believe me, but it’s weighed on my conscience too. I... I’m sorry.

Bowser: (staring at him, his expression conflicted)

And you think a simple ball will fix all of this? That I’ll just forget? Do you think simple apologies will erase what you did?

Mario: (shaking his head, his gaze steady and resolute)

No, I don’t expect you to forget. I know nothing can ever bring Betty back. But we need to find a way to coexist. For Cherry, for Peach, for our kingdoms. I’m not asking for your forgiveness, Bowser. I’m just asking for a truce... so we can all move forward. We don’t have to be friends, Bowser, but we can at least try not to be enemies.

Bowser: (after a tense silence, finally releasing a heavy sigh)

I don’t know, Mario. It’s not as simple as you think. But for Cherry, for my family... I’ll try. But don’t disappoint me, and don’t think this means I’ve forgiven you.

Mario: (offering a slight smile, visibly relieved)

I understand. Thank you, Bowser. I don’t expect anything more.

The two stand together under the moonlight, neither quite willing to break the silence. The ball continues inside, but here, on this quiet balcony, a fragile truce is born, with a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, they can coexist.

[plaest2k]

hey, im a young nz artist too and i like making comics/want to do something bigger when im older, and i think your stuff is genuinely so fucking cool. i love it so much. i was wondering how you pursued art after highschool, like did you go to art school? if so, where and what was that like, and if not, how’d you find the time to continue doing it? its always felt like my opportunities for a career in art specifically seem smaller living in nz, but idk your stuff inspires me to think otherwise. thank you :)

kia ora!!

thanks so much for asking, it's truly so flattering that a young nz artist would ask me for advice! <3 sadly i might not necessarily be the best person to ask...

First of all, it's been a loooooong time since i've been a young artist hahaha I'm 32. After high school, I studied architecture at university because, as you're probably aware, we don't really have art schools like our peers do overseas. But after studying for a few years, I had a major depressive episode and dropped out. After that, I ran away to Korea to teach english for a year before coming back to work in cafes for about 6 years. Back then I was pursuing a career in editorial illustration cause that's what all my favourite artists were doing but I didn't realise that it was a dying industry at the time and there weren't exactly lot of full-time professional artists here who could have warned me...

So after about 10 years of trying to piece together some kind of profession in illustration, I ended up looking for a tattoo apprenticeship which was looking pretty promising but my bosses turned out to be not-so-great people. I tried to keep tattooing on my own but that was around the time COVID hit which wasn't (and still isn't) great for a job that requires you meet face-to-face with a lot of people. So, since the pandemic began, I've just been subsisting off of jobseeker, chipping away at comics and the occasional illustration gig.

The whole experience had me perpetually burnt out for the past ~15 years and made me realise that art as a career really just shouldn't be a thing. Under capitalism, it requires either an embarrassing level of compromise, privilege or luck to pursue. All the household-name artists you know in NZ either come from privilege or got unbelievably lucky. I don't say this as a value judgment or anything, most of them are truly wonderful people, it's just what I've learned about them as colleagues who've worked together a few times over the years.

I don't fault anyone for wanting to pursue that, but if you want to make uncompromising art that makes you feel fulfilled, you can't stake your livelihood on it. Art is supposed to be a by-product of life well lived, not content to be sold.

It's why I'm making plans to go back to uni next year to switch careers into a cushy office job because, as you've observed, even if you still want to pursue this as a full-time career, opportunities for artists in Aotearoa is extremely limited.

Having said all that, there's still a lot of nuance to this whole thing that would take me too long to cover in a tumblr post, so if you'd like me to elaborate or anything or have more questions, you're more than welcome to contact me through my email: plaest2k@gmail.com!

And this offer extends to literally anyone who might be looking for advice or just wants to talk about art <3

Final thing: the thought of studying something else at college/ university and keeping your art as a hobby might sound bleak when you're young, but life is so much longer than you think. You might feel like you have limitless creativity and ideas at the moment but when it becomes your entire life, you burn through it all faster than you'd think. It's because you need fuel to inform what you make and you can't get that from just making art. Like I always say, art is a by-product of a life well lived; You need life-experiences; You need to love, hate, care, be hated and loved to make art and you can't do that if you're too busy to do any of that. Those 3 years you spend on a bachelors is nothing in comparison to a lifetime of staring at a blank page, agonizing over what to make next.

[sf1enjoyer]

꧁Truth and apologies꧂

Part 3 of the LN4 series:New Start

Warning: implied sexual themes

Word count:1300

Summary: After accidentally colliding into Lando and ignoring him for a few weeks you were at a post race party just drinking your nowhere to be found partying mood away until Lando walked up to you.

@fishyfishersticks

Part 1, Part 2

Over the 2024 season, he grew bold. Too bold for his sake but also matured a lot in such a short time. He was no longer that pleased with something less than a win after his first victory in Miami, and you guys slowly started having little fights because you tried talking some sense into him and telling him that he doesn't always need to win, but he was too blinded by this fight for the championship when he saw that he had a chance to win the title.

Things were okay until one catastrophic race. You were fighting for the first place and you were behind him. You were having a shitty weekend and one wrong move ruined peverything, for both you and Lando. You collided sending both McLaren cars into the wall and he came out furious.

"Lando are you oka-" you tried talking when he interrupted you

"Y/N what the fuck is your problem?"

"Excuse me?"

"God.. you're such a pain in the ass. I'm fighting for a championship and you pull stunts like that!"

"The hell are you on? You turned towards me as much as I did into you!"

"It's your fault you got that close. If you can't overtake someone,keep your position."

Your jaw dropped at Lando's harsh words. You were furious at him because it wasn't only your fault.And what enraged you more was the fact that he didn't have the guts to admit that he was in the wrong too.

"Cry me a fucking river. You're an asshole."

You and Lando didn't speak again that race and refused to give any answers to the question that involved one another.

The following race which was hungary Lando won and you got p2. Sure you congratulates each other but the words were cold and the podium celebration was really awkward. You avoided him just as much as he avoided you.

You weren't going to apologize when you knew he was wrong. You're not saying sorry just to fix something you didn't ruin. Even though your heart told you to but you were too stubborn for that.

Later that night a bunch of F1 drivers organiser and went out to a club,with you being one of them. You got dressed up in a dress,not too

short but showing the right amount of skin for a party. To be honest you were there more for the drinks because you weren't really in the mood to party and you were told that Lando wouldn't be there so you saw it as an opportunity to have a bit of fun to forget about your whole argument which was still heated.

You sat at the bar ,ordered a bunch of shots to down your tiredness and frustration. You heard a familiar voice from your left and when you looked, it was Lando ordering a whiskey. Thequestion is why the hell was he here? You were told he rathered go to sleep with how tired he was. At least that's what Carlos told you.

You downed your last shot and scrunched your nose slightly ,when he spoke up.

"Can't handle your alcohol, Y/N?"

"Weren't you supposed to be sleeping like the whiny baby you are?"

"I was going to do that but getting a drink sounded better at the moment."

You rolled your eyes and sighed

"Oh how lovely,now can you go bother someone else?"

"No." He answered firmly as he took a sip of

his drink

"And why the hell not?"

"Because we need to talk Y/N"

Oh wow he wantes to talk to you after a week of ignoring you and blaming you for his crash.

"What an honor."

He sat there in silence for a bit and finished his drink in the meantime

"I'm serious Y/N"

You order two more shots and pass one to him.

"Go ahead,i guess..."

He sighed

"Look i wanted to say I'm sorry for lashing out on you like that. I was pissed that you crashed into me and i took it too far."

You downed your last shot and shot him a glare

"Yeah go ahead andblame me. Definitely i turned into you on purpose.. Thanks for the apology."

You stand up and go outside of the club with Lando quickly following you and calling after you

"Y/N wait! For fuck's sake... That's not what I meant. Why are you so difficult,Jesus!"

You snapped at him your tone slightly raising

"I'm the one who's difficult? I'm sorry I'm realistic and that your whiny ass couldn't admit that the crash was out fault,not just mine because apparently that hurts your new bought fragile ego. I'm so tired of your shit!"

He took your hand when you walked away and his featured seemed softer. He finally had that glint of regret in his eyes that you haven't seen in so long.

"Y/N you're right. Look i know I'm not the best with words and that i acted like and asshole but i really mean my apology. The crash wasn't just you,it was me as well and I'm sorry that this fight for the championship made me act like I'm better than you and that i have the rightto treat you like that.."

You were still pissed and the alcohol in your system didn't really help you you pulled away again and sent another rude remark his way

He grabbed your hand firmly and pulled you close to him,one hand snaking behind to hold you by the waist so you wouldn't leave again

"Y/N just listen. We can't keep going like this. I hate being mad at you,I hate not talking to you.We're teammates but more importantly, we're friends...and things won't work out if we start a rivalty so just please forgive me."

You look up at him and you see his sincere gaze eating you, making you feel guilty

"Please.."He repeated his words. He was practically begging you to forgive him.

You just looked at him and in that moment it came down on you. One hand on your wrist,the other on your waist and his face so close made you want to kiss him and run a hand through his stupidly perfect curls and oh boy you being slightly drunk didn't make things easier for you.

You felt like it was just the two of you. You just gave in and let your body take the decisions for you so you just pressed your lips softly against his and placed a hand on his cheek

To your surpise he didn't pull back immediately and when he did he had his typical smug smile

"I'll just take it as a sign that you forgive me."

With those words being said he kissed you again but this time more fierce but also soft, moving both hands to hold your waist. You automatically wrapped your arms around his neck and slid a hand into his curls from the back of his head. You didn't expect him to reciprocate this but it was fucking amazing.

You felt those two hands creep lower and then squeezing you gently. It took you slightly by surprise but you did enjoy it.

He slowly pushed you against the wall and he kissed your neck, his lips trailing along your jawline until he found your mouth again. He kisses you hungrily, his tongue exploring your mouth in a passionate but sweet way the music and the neon lights of the club and the music fading in the background.

When you pulled back a little ,you desperately reached for your phone to call an uber and you needed it now. You needed to get back to the hotel with Lando as soon as possible.

[smallishzine]

Just a small heads up, if you include shipping you may wanna make it clear that there are ships and what ships are there. A lot of people aren’t comfortable with shipping, especially since I’ve seen people say Joel thinks it’s a bit weird to be shipped with anyone other than Lizzie (needs to be fact checked, this is just what I’m seeing in boat boys comment sections). Maybe consider making the ship stuff a separate section or just telling people in advance (pinned post, bio, anywhere clear works) that it includes shipping so those who don’t like it can walk away.

important info about the zine plz read even if you didn’t send the ask:

thank you for the heads up! We’re about to get super rambly and vaguely off topic but we promise all your points get addressed. This is actually a great opportunity to clarify, because I realized I didn’t explain myself particularly clearly, if some one does choose to include shipping, its all going to have to be subtext (as always except for shadowbeans whose alternate ship name I still refuse to use), but that is for non-canon ships. Regardless of how people feel about it, c!Joel and c!Jimmy did in fact kiss in Real Life smp, and c!Joel and c!Sausage did in fact have a child together in esmp2, so we’re not gonna rewrite events. Basically when I say shipping in the context of this zine I mean taking relationships the c!Joel had with other people and creating moments that didn’t necessarily happen but feel plausible for the characters that are able to be interpreted as romantic as well as platonic. Also, everyone’s definition of ship art is different, so the level that I was thinking is pretty mild (and btw I’d like to interject here that this is not me dissing on shipping or ship art love shipping so much that I found a ship called the relation and I never left it, but I also know that people have all sorts of comfort levels with different things so this zine is going to be dry docked but I assure you that out there on my super secret personal blog we are very much lost at sea). Like, to give some examples of what would be okay versus not okay for the zine: kissing is pretty much off limits, honestly mostly because that’s a pretty boring zine piece, there’s nothing going on except the ship, but anything where any sort of romance is up to the interpretation, such as hugging, handholding, spending time with, these are all normal things, but also this can’t be the focus of the piece. Please no one just draw like Joel and someone hugging and call it a day. Implied shipping is allowed to feature in your piece, not be the main focus of it. That’s just not an interesting zine piece. Valid art/writing, still amazing stuff keep sharing it on the internet it’s very interesting, just not in the context of this zine. Anyway, you are correct about not everyone being comfortable with that stuff, so if any piece comes off as really shippy without violating the guidelines we’ll make sure to label it correctly, but also, I should make it clear, I’m really hoping that shipping doesn’t become the focus of this zine. It is a Joel zine, so Joel should remain the focus, and any shipping would be subtextual and not central to the zine. There are many great Joel ships out there with lovely content to consume, but that’s not really the focus of this zine. Also, that aside, if Joel doesn’t want his character (because we are talking about shipping cs here. Cc!Joel is a lovely person, but this zine is going to be in-character. Also while cc!Joel should absolutely be respected in what sort of fan content he wants people making about him, his character is, well, just that: a character. Its like saying you can’t ship two characters from an animated tv show because their irl voice actors aren’t comfortable being shipped. It’s just two different things) shipped with characters who don’t belong to his wife, he should probably stop making his c! kiss all those men. And have children with them. And send them love hearts in the mail. And call them babe. If he did it in canon it’s probably safe to say we’re good having them do it in fan content. But again shipping should be an extremely small part of the zine if it’s there at all and should be subtextual enough that even people who don’t ship can still positively engage with the zine!!! If it needs a warning, it’s probably too shippy.

also all this aside if I’m handling this wrong guys I’m sorry I’m only one person and it’s really stressful trying to please everybody I promise I’m trying my best but I just wanna get together with a bunch of other people who share this strange fascination with the bean man and make art and writing about it I don’t wanna get canceled or something I promise I’m trying my best. I’m really struggling to balance my love of creating shipping fan content and realizing that not everyone is comfortable with that and it’s really difficult and stressful I just can’t we all just draw and write what makes us happy I just want this to be a fun experience and being yelled at on the internet for drawing two characters who’s ccs aren’t in an irl relationship being something other than friends is not my definition of a good time. I’m not accusing you anon of doing anything like that the ask was very respectful but I’m worried this post will prompt less polite people to come and yell at me.

-mod Dinn

[be-good-be-safe-be-kind]

"it's the only way to heal"

op you are so right.

krista's involvement here seems to be overshadowed by the previous episode and overlooked by the end of the series where the krista in elliot's mind has some… interesting things to say (another point for another time), but it really is important. thank you for highlighting this.

the framing and lighting, as always, add so much to the series, even if it does not consciously register as doing so. earlier seasons and sessions with krista, pretty sure, had things centered or framed to include the background as focus (the curtains, the shadows of the room in elliot's 'cell,' etc.) and giving the viewers as well as the characters other things to focus on besides each other. here, with a blurry background and the characters in the 'margins,' the focus is on them; there is not really anything else to look at besides for elliot and krista.

elliot's desire to forget is understandable, and rather than tell him that, krista uses the opportunity to say that is an impossible ask. the memories will always be there, whether or not he can access them, and it sucks but it is the truth. even without the flashbacks and time skips, the pilot episode is full of allusions to elliot's background, even if things like flinching from ollie's touch or remaining at a distance from gideon initially registers as asocial and/or anxious.

"you will survive this, elliot" is a crucial conclusion. he has no reason to assume that to be true, especially after learning that he already made it this far in life with the knowledge of his abuse hidden from him. (arguably, they have been here before, at other points in the series and before we meet the characters in the pilot, but for now, we have elliot encountering this information for the first time and it fucking breaks him). to go back to working with mr. robot, to reconcile that this intrinsic part of himself is modeled after a father who he thought was nothing but a friend, is devastating.

mr. robot having this conversation with elliot at allsafe is another fantastic detail. yes, the office is their headquarters, their apartment is not exactly usable at the moment, but fucking allsafe. all safe. after a night following bits of his past around the city, seeing how his child self knew about and protected himself from the abuse, coming back to a dilapidated office that is all safe is… a lot, to say the least.

mr. robot acknowledging his own fear is another thing that gets overlooked; even to people without understanding of dissociative disorders and technical terms, mr. robot is clearly a protector, one who talks shit and gets shit done, without an ounce of doubt. to hear this guy repeatedly admit in this episode and the previous one that there are things he desperately needs to keep away from elliot, from himself, because living with it is too much, is a big deal. and to have him hand the keys back to elliot, instead of their back-and-forth like with the chess scenario, to give elliot the power and choice to ignore him in the aftermath of this, is monumental.

for all of elliot's planning and confidence in his technical abilities, for his meticulous compartmentalizing and pushing what he deems irrelevant to the side in order to get a job done, this is one thing he cannot ignore. and he still apologizes, even though there is no need to, because he perceives it that way. after years of research and work, trial and error, love and loss, he has to see everything through til the end, but he cannot.

"i wouldn't be me, and i wouldn't have you," besides for being a breakthrough, is a succinct summary of the series. elliot addresses mr. robot, yes, but in a way, he also addresses the 'friend' he has been keeping mostly in the loop since the start. "you're only in my head, we have to remember that" has not been forgotten, even as the voiceovers decreased in frequency and intensity as the series progressed. it also ties in to whiterose's plan and idea of using a machine to change reality rather than accept it; elliot learns to choose and accept his reality for what it is, as shitty as it is, rejecting the idea that a life dismissing the past is better than one including it.

whiterose would rather wipe the slate and toss it into a bin rather than accept it as a stepping stone towards her future. elliot and the rest of his system end the series with the hope of integrating their past into their future, as painful as it may be, because they understand the necessity.

Mr. Robot and Accepting Trauma Memories

In all my posts about how good Mr. Robot can be about depicting healing for those with DID, I never did highlight the last conversation Elliot has with his therapist in Season 4.

[Scene paraphrased, skipping comments about Elliot's father or the itch in the back of Elliot's head]

Upon his trauma memories returning Elliot is dissociated and barely holding it together. His therapist, who was with him for the revelation, gets him to safety (as always depicted by golden light in the show)

Krista's camera angle keeps Elliot in frame at all times while Elliot remains alone. She's reaching out and he's withdrawing. The show always uses camera angles and empty space to show isolation. All the empty space with subjects usually singled out in the 1-2 shots as a way to show their lack of connection.

Krista is on the very edge of the frame, meeting Elliot where he is. She's not trying to pull him out of his dissociation, she's just trying to reach out and offer him grounding and connection and comfort.

The thing being depicted here though is one of the most empathetic displays of trauma memories resurfacing. Elliot wants to forget again and Krista says that he never forgot.

In reality trauma memories, even the most buried ones, remain active and present within anyone suffering a dissociative disorder. The mind simply prevents access to that information as a means of self-preservation. When triggered or summoned it will activate the nervous system and create a recall response. In Elliot's case an "itch in the back of his mind"

At a cellular level, the body stores a memory of everything it has experienced. Sometimes this is evoked through touch, ranging from casual touch, to intimate touching, to massage and body-work. Sometimes a trigger can cause these body memories to break through. Sometimes the body memory just surfaces. Although there are times when a body memory coincides with an identifiable flashback, sometimes it may seem to happen ‘out of nowhere’. This can be extremely frightening and unnerving, especially if you don’t know this is what is happening. It does not mean you have ‘lost it’ or that you are crazy. Your mind is not playing a cruel trick on you, but rather is presenting you with memory or information that needs to be worked through so you can heal from the wounding you experienced. The phenomena of flashbacks and body memories can become more complex when you are not the only personality residing within your physical body— especially until you-all each have a greater sense of ‘self’ and ‘System’. If you have not yet reached a place of distinguishing between yourself and others in your System, you may have a consciousness of sensations that are the memory and/or current experience of another part. While this may seem strange or odd, it is not unheard of. Each part doing their own work, getting to know each other better, and getting strong senses of self- and System- is really what will get things to a more manageable place. - Got Parts ~ An Insiders Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder (ATW)

When it comes to handling trauma memories the option to "just forget" does not truly exist. To not think about it does not prevent the mind from reacting when the trigger is touched. The memory will summon sense memory or emotional flashback and cause symptoms.

The only path to healing is to engage with those memories and work on integrating them. No matter how hard that may seem. Because to continue pushing it away is to allow the triggers to continue activating the nervous system and let the memory literally haunt the present day.

I'm glad that Krista got to say that.

Season 4 Episode 8 is all about accepting the weight of the trauma memory.

The final moment of the episode has Mr. Robot, who was created to protect the system and is modeled to look and act like Elliot's abuser, returns to talk to Elliot about what happened. Bathed in golden light and within their base of operations "Allsafe"

Elliot flinches at the mere thought of Mr. Robot. The living memory of his father and the one who held the memories of his abuse for so long. Fearing that he has failed in his duty as Elliot's protector, Mr. Robot speaks, desperate to fix it, knowing that now the memories have resurfaced he may not be able to any longer.

"The only reason I'm here is to make sure no one ever hurts you. That was supposed to be your father's job. But he failed. He was too weak. But you? You were strong. You fought back the only way you could. You brought me here to protect you from him."

"I tried to keep you safe and only show you the memories when the two of you were friends before..." he pauses and lets the implication hang in the air, "I thought I could store the truth so you'd never have to see it or feel it. Fact is I didn't wanna see it either. I made a terrible mistake. I was afraid. Afraid of what this would do to you. To us.

"This was never my secret to keep. And you deserved better than to live in darkness for so long. I'm so sorry. I failed you, too. I understand if you can't forgive me or you decide to shut me out for good. Just as long as you know that I am not your father. I never was."

"You're nothing like him. That's why I created you. You're the father I needed. Not the father I had."

"If I could have stopped him. If I could go back in time. Change everything that happened to you and make it all go away..."

"Then I wouldn't be me." Elliot finally turns to look at Mr. Robot, "And I wouldn't have you."

Mr Robot finally protectively holds Elliot and he breaks down in sobs, unsure if he has it in him to see their hacking plan through.

In this scene Mr. Robot accepts the truth that holding those memories from Elliot caused him so much pain over the years and that it was all he knew to do as a protector but faced with the reality of him accepting the pain he understands he was wrong.

The episode also features Elliot's child alter guiding him to evidence that they did fight back against their father as a child. They locked the door to their childhood bedroom and hid the key that Edward had access to. They threw themselves out of a window to prevent him hurting either him or their sister.

They were a child and sometimes the only way to fight back is to hide or to show the abuser that you'll not accept their abuse silently.

Both Mr. Robot and Krista praise the child who received the abuse for doing all they could to fight back, even when they felt so powerless. That it was not their fault. That the abuse was something they did everything they could to try and stop.

Mr. Robot even goes in and says that he wishes he could use a time machine to undo it and Elliot, finally accepting the core themes of the show, rejects the notion outright.

"I wouldn't be me. And I wouldn't have you."

Healthy acceptance of that which is and treasuring all that has been made with his life despite the trauma.

The main villain's plan is to use what is implied to be a time machine to reject the pain of this harsh reality in search of a better one. She would see suffering and turmoil in the present to bring about a better history. She is so fixated on reclaiming the world she feels she was owed that she cannot accept the reality she finds herself in.

Elliot goes dormant after his conversation with Mr. Robot and he takes over for the big hacking plan. During the finale of the "Fsociety" portion of the plot, Elliot finally resurfaces when Whiterose promises that her plot (implied heavily to be a time machine) can bring back a loved one that was murdered earlier in the show. When confronted with the choice between pressing forward with the pain of loss or retreating into delusion and rejection of reality; Elliot chooses to resurface.

Cementing the theme and moral firmly. It is better to accept the past and integrate it into your future than to live in rejection. Even if it hurts.

It's the only way to heal.

[prismatoxic]

alright im here to say: ramble abt the "awful boys" pls! You can share any fun facts abt them or just abt matt or even just share out of context facts abt the lore! (that'd be very funny) ✨

IF YOU'RE SURE... I CAN CERTAINLY DO THAT...

despite not being "mine", arguably felix actually is mine, just as much as matt is max's. we share them so much that they haven't really developed outside of that context, so a lot of things about them are entwined... though that said i do have a more solid grasp on matt since he is the one i made and largely craft the lore for. if there's anything i don't feel comfortable speculating on for felix i can always ask max what he thinks though

i don't really remember everything i've actually posted here, although i think i've largely been vague on tumblr with the exception of the lore dump under matt's new ref. i can reshare that and maybe felix's backstory as well, but first i'll just share some facts and lore tidbits

also this got So Long so here's a cut

felix met the original matthew once. at a company party, matthew had come along at his father's insistence, and really didn't want to be there. his father introduced him to felix--probably flippantly, they're closer in age than matthew is with most other people there but also the old CEO resented felix and wasn't exactly trying to include him in anything--but the conversation went nowhere. the next time felix saw him, matthew was dead and the godking had taken his place as "matt". (we have an au where the conversation did go somewhere and they actually started "dating", which is just even more awful for poor matthew than what he canonically goes through. felix shouldn't ever date other humans, he's a toxic cesspit)

there's an underworld of demons that has direct connections to the company, both in location and in business. it's part of why matt finds it so interesting. in the canon/"just me and max" version of the story, the demons working at the company are generally pretty good at being covert and are rarely noticed. once matt shows up, suddenly none of them go to the top floor, quickly hurrying out of the way if he's on other floors. felix notices, one of the several things that brings him to the conclusion of something being weird about matt before the truth is forced out.

(there's another version of the story where we've involved several friends, most of whom made demon ocs, though some made other entities. matt remains the only entity of his kind in that version of the story, but the divide between him and other supernatural beings is less severe.)

when felix does find out about matt's true nature, it's not in any particularly descriptive way, and the best guess he can make is "angel of death". the existence of potentially-religious figures concerns him somewhat, as he was raised in a religious household and if hell is real, then brother, he's gonna have a bad time. that said, this particular assumption is what leads to one of his most common petnames for matt: "angel", which matt seems to actually enjoy, usually

on the topic of petnames--they both use them and both usually do so sarcastically or mockingly. "angel" is usually used that way, too. it's later in their relationship when any of them become fond; "angel" is one used in such a way, but matt doesn't have any that are so specific. he defaults to mushy stuff like "love," "beloved," and "darling." it's easy to assume he's still being sarcastic.

but don't be fooled by talk of gentle fondness and love. a lot of their early relationship is marked by dubcon and eroguro, along with dozens of other filthy things, and those mostly continue indefinitely (maybe not dubcon, but certainly cnc). matt can't be killed via normal means and he can always bring felix back; with no consequences, they can do such horrible things, and felix's top kinks happen to include "snuff". how lucky he is! (i told you he's a toxic cesspit)

even so... they do love each other. maybe not at the start, no, but as things progress, absolutely. and neither thinks it's worth holding onto. for felix, matt certainly will never feel the same; for matt, it's simply foolish to feel such a way about a mortal. and yet... every time he brings felix back from death, he imbues him with some of his own stardust. felix doesn't know it's happening until his own powers start manifesting and he starts feeling matt's emotions. even then, matt brushes off his involvement in those things happening.

i actually wrote a little story about one of the defining moments of their relationship, a turning point for them both (but especially felix). i meant to post it here and never did. maybe i'll do that. anyway

matt has always inherited memories and desires from those he devoured, but upon leaving a vessel he's often lost big parts of that. even so, the person he is now feels like an amalgam of all those he's eaten, and he has... surprisingly huge identity issues. he's kind of shaken when he realizes he's started thinking of this vessel as himself, not just "the body". he's never lived a life so full in any of his vessels, never had cause to tether himself to one identity. it scares him. but... he doesn't want to leave. felix is still here.

on that note, he inherited a few kinks from matthew that he's not really ready for. matthew never got to act on them, but matt can, and he does--much to felix's delight. watching matt turn into a drooling whimpering mess is such a treat.

i'm exhausted so idk how many more things i can easily rattle off. but you're welcome to ask more stuff!

here, have the malix playlist:

and below i'll put these guys' backstories, just because

Matt

The Godking is a young cosmic entity from an unknowable place somewhere out in the universe. He used to enter relationships with older beings, but as a younger being he was rarely fully respected; as a result, he became obsessed with the idea of gaining the sort of power that would force the others to acknowledge him as a peer. Crafting a divine dagger with parts of his own being, he used it to kill his partners, devouring their essences to absorb their powers. 

His last cosmic partner was an arachnid-like being who saw him for what he was before he could murder them. While they were unable to take his dagger, they still nearly killed him in the ensuing fight, and in the wake of the battle he was banished from his home dimension for his crimes. In his banishment, he lost his original form, left to wander the cosmos as a formless cluster of stardust.

He eventually ended up on Earth, drawn by the presence of supernatural beings mingling with the humans, as well as the humans themselves. He found himself enamored with the concept of human religion—of gods and deities that were worshiped for their control over the world. This was where he adopted the moniker Godking, an apt description of his influence on the humans who idolized him. For millennia he drifted from project to project, forming cults in his own name or joining human settlements to play with some of the residents, stealing the bodies of singular members to become "prophets" delivering the word of their new God. Inevitably, he always got bored, killing his favored toys so they couldn't exist without him and abandoning those who worshiped him. 

Not too long ago, the CEO of a successful company used ancient texts from one of the Godking's religions to invoke his name, asking for his aid in making the company prosper beyond his wildest dreams. Amused by the request, the Godking gave his word, then used his hypnosis abilities to drive the CEO mad to get him out of the way. Needing a new vessel to "fulfill the agreement" (a conscious choice, as he isn't the sort to be bound by deals or laws), he devoured the soul of the CEO's son, Matthew, assuming ownership of his body and using it to take over the company. 

He's grown fond of the name Matt, and in truth has also grown fond of Matthew's body, though he does frequently alter it to suit his needs. It's been some time since he enjoyed a specific form so much. It helps, perhaps, that a specific high ranking member of the company—the only person to have broken through the illusion to discover the sinister truth underneath—seems to like this form too.

He needs to leave it eventually, of course, lest his essence get so tangled up in it that breaking away gets difficult. Surely that won't be hard. 

Felix

Felix was born to an incredibly average family out in the suburbs, not too far from the city where he works now. By all accounts, he was a very normal child; he was pleasant, if a bit withdrawn, and wore very normal clothes, had a very normal haircut, and kept his room very plain. His interests were few and nothing noteworthy, and his performance in school was decent. 

Of course, all of that was only what outsiders saw—his extended family, school peers who didn't share classes with him, and the many mental health professionals his parents sent him to all considered him to be a normal, plain child. Anyone who spent a little more time with him could tell there was something wrong. His immediate family, closest to him by virtue of living with him, actively considered him a threat.

Felix was prone to killing and dissecting small animals, blatantly lying to manipulate others, collecting blackmail material whenever an opportunity presented itself, and generally intimidating anyone who could be pushed around in such a way. While many of his traits could potentially be explained by sociopathy, Felix was never formally diagnosed with anything, charming anyone who may have been able to into thinking he was fine. Perhaps his parents waited too long to get him looked at. Or perhaps Felix was always a conniving sadist, something within him darker than any mental disorder could explain.

Having since moved out of the suburbs and largely distanced himself from his family, Felix lives in an apartment with two roommates and works at the company Matt took over. When the old CEO was still in charge, Felix used his skills to blackmail the man extensively, gaining a position perilously close to the C-suite with the intentions to move even higher when the chance manifested. He was blindsided, as were many others, when the old CEO was institutionalized and his son inherited his company. Yet as the other executives and employees easily took to Matt's presence, Felix was furious that his plans had been disrupted... and cautious of the ways in which something about Matt seemed off.

When attempts to learn more or get Matt under his thumb failed, Felix resorted to murder. He's resorted to murder a lot, over the years. He's never been caught, never been confronted, never been stopped—and never met someone who could shake off a bullet to the skull. 

Until now.

[bittersweetresilience]

can you be baited into talking about the good aesthetics of jingrenheng? the themes? please and thank you and have a nice day?

................okay... just for you anon...

they have complimentary color palettes! jing yuan has a lot of light associations, blade dark associations, and dan heng's teals are gradient or in between

they all have a symbolic plant of sorts, which sounds funny, but it looks pretty. the gingko and the spider lilies and the maple leaves. those are also red orange and yellow which mix well together. and imbibitor lunae has a lotus thing going on but he and dan heng mostly look visually similar

they have sun moon star symbolism. jing yuan is the sun, blade or should i say yingxing (应星) is the star, and dan heng or should i say imbibitor lunae (饮月君) is the moon. you could also argue that jing yuan (景元) is the world that the celestial bodies orbit in... the center of gravity, but also easy to overlook as an unchanging part of the surroundings...

dan heng is also wearing something associated with both of them. yes, The Relic™. BUT his coat also reads the same poem from which jing yuan took the name of starfall reverie

and lastly they are just three beautiful men okay it's impossible for them not to look aesthetic together

THE THEMES ✨

a guy running from his past, a guy chasing it down and driven perpetually by it, and a guy who can do nothing but hold onto it. it's like a soap drama of perfect proportions

someone who represents the right path, someone who represents the wrong path, and someone who represents the neutral path or trailblazes their own path

they were entangled in their previous lives and they remain entangled now, by their own will or otherwise. it can't get any better than this themewise.

renjing

i was going to say something about what each individual ship in the trio brings to the trio but i got distracted. what was i talking about again

okay, renheng has this 'thin line between love and hate going on' (因爱生恨) and it's about the extremes of passion to me. the hunter and the hunted. it's about the things from the past that should be shed but cannot be. then hengjing has the 'reconnecting through lives and through the mire of identity'. it's about forging a future uncolored by the mist of the past while also acknowledging that that past was there and meant something. then renjing has everything renjing has. renjing has

sorry i can't be objective about them renjing has everything because they are my babies

ANYWAY the point is when you put them together you net the ability to explore all of these different relationship dynamics at the same time plus trio dynamics like the mediation, the competition, each of them feeling left out in their own way, varying levels of memory, varying levels of history... a feast for the feasters

i also think jingrenheng successfully resolves all three of their issues in the sense that it's a relatively stable way for each of them to be able to recognize but also make peace with their past, and not let it impede their future. if jingrenheng actually experienced enough character development to get together and not kill each other, that would mean they have fixed things. a win for everybody.

[skeletalheartattack]

hi I like gelato a lot

[thatcrazycrowgirl]

I was curious What class was Magnolia family was? Do they have a good relationship with their daughter?

And how was the relationship between nolie's mother and father? ( Like do they hate or love each other or is it neutral)

thanks for answering 🪻

Hello there! Thanks for dropping by and giving me a chance to talk more about Nolie's family! ^_^

So, to answer your questions:

1. The Bensons (Magnolia's family) are part of the upper-middle class. Not super rich, but decently well off, thanks to the business they get from having their lodging house so close to one of the train stations in the City of London district.

2. Magnolia has a pretty good relationship with her parents for the most part. She butts heads more with her mom than her dad (he's the more laid-back parent of the two), but more than half the time they get along. lol

3. Lastly, Olivia and Thomas (Nolie's parents) actually love each other very much. Tom is more openly affectionate out of the two (sometimes embarrassingly so, hehe), whereas Olivia is more private - but make no mistake, even after over two decades of marriage and three kids, the love is still very much there. (After all, Olivia was originally part of the lower-upper class and willingly married "under her station", because she fell so deeply in love with Tom.)

[softquietsteadylove]

During the show the tightrope breaks and Thena falls. Luckily Gil catches her but gets injured. The whole crew protects both of them when kro is very angry that Gil touches Thena. Some drama for the circus one

"Thena!"

It felt as if it happened in slow motion. Thena was in the middle of the routine as usual, and things were going well. She and Angus were both strong and ready for the show.

But something wasn't right. Gil had watched as Thena froze on the tightrope, her whole body locking up on the spot. He had looked to where her eyes were anchored, running out from behind the scenes. Something was wrong with the joint where the line was attached.

Then it snapped.

"Thena!" He ran as fast as he could. There were no nets, as per a certain ringleader's demand (because it didn't instill the right excitement in the crowds). There was no protecting Thena from a bone shattering fall.

He plowed into her, just barely managing to catch her as they both rolled and skidded from his momentum. He somehow managed to keep a hold of her within his arms. His shoulder was most certainly jostled from where it was supposed to be, and he wouldn't be surprised if he had a number of bruises along his ribs and arms.

The crowd was up on its feet, women and children screaming. Kro was already trying to assure them and tell them there was no need to panic (no need to ask for their money back).

"Gil?"

He opened his eyes, scared to look at what happened. But he grunted as Thena leaned over him, her hair pooling on his chest as he lay on his back. Her hand trailed over his cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Oh Gil," she whispered, her hand sliding down his cheek and neck and over his chest.

Gil looked around them. It was chaos, and this was definitely a worst case scenario. At least Thena wasn't hurt, but the repercussions would ripple through the whole crew. They had to check the equipment, they would have a meeting with everyone from every department. And Kro would be furious.

"Hey!"

Gil saw from somewhat upside down as Kro caught sight of them. He didn't know why the guy was anywhere but by his wife's side, but he was too tired to think about that now. He watched as Kro began the process of storming over to them.

"Get your filthy hands off of her!"

Oh, he was talking to him. Gil blinked, feeling as if he were hearing everything underwater, and his head hurt something fierce. But Thena was unharmed, that was all that mattered to him.

"Gil," Thena whispered to him. There was a flurry of motion around them, the crew rushing to talk to Kro about what to do about the broken highwire. They would serve as a barricade for them. "Can you see me?"

He could only ever see her. He nodded, groaning as he tried to sit up.

"It's okay, easy," she cooed to him as she helped pull him up. "We're going to get you some help."

Gil tried to hold himself up, but damn it felt hard. He didn't think he was really this heavy, but he couldn't keep his feet straight. He was like a newborn colt trying to walk for the first time.

"Come on, big fella," some of his friends from the crew got on either side of him. Of course Thena couldn't be the one to help try to walk him to the medical tent. But she smelled nicer than these guys.

"Gil," she called to him again, dragging his eyes up to hers. "Just look at me. You can't fall asleep."

Why not? He was dead tired and he felt like he'd been wrestling with the elephants.

"Just keep looking at me," she whispered, leading him with the sweet lyricism of her voice. Like a damn angel, that woman.

Gil sighed as they finally got him to the medical tent and seated on a bale of hay. He really was ready to lie down, but he let Thena drag his head upright again. Although he did whine a little as she shined some kinda light in his eyes.

"You can't sleep like this," she sighed, and then put something cold on the top of his head. His eyes naturally rolled upward, not that he could see whatever it was. She smiled, "it's just from the icebox. We have to keep the swelling down."

Oh, it was his head. That made sense why his ears were ringing, at least. "Are you okay?"

Thena looked at him in a way that made his heart melt. She sat beside him, even letting her knees in her sparkly stockings brush against his in his regular, ratty old trousers. "Thanks to you."

Gil looked at her, now that the chaos from the main tent was behind them. She did look fine, which was a relief. "Couldn't just let you fall."

It was almost not within his control, that was to say. But Thena took his hand in hers. "I know you couldn't. But I owe my life to you, all the same."

His mind was a few steps behind his mouth as he blurted out, "where's your husband?"

Normally he wouldn't bring him up, even just so as to not upset the lady.

But Thena didn't even blink, rubbing her thumb against his, "don't worry about him, for now."

"I wish you didn't have to worry about him," Gil mumbled out. He really was saying whatever was on his mind, huh?

Thena sighed, though, looking at him with those stunning green eyes. "I know. I wish so, too."

Gil closed his eyes as she adjusted the cloth bundle of ice on top of his head. It did feel nice, but it also gave him the chills. "He's gonna blow his top if we can't get the highwire restrung."

"That man would blow his top at the sky if it were the only thing around."

Gil chuckled, although it made his head hurt something awful. He groaned.

"Sorry." Thena brushed the backs of her knuckles over his temple, soothing the ache from the outside in.

Gil looked at the cloth walls of the tent. It was just some canvas, and it was far from impenetrable. But he looked at Thena, feeling like he really did have this moment to keep just to themselves. "Thena...if he ever hurts you, I swear-"

His eyes slid closed as she leaned forward to kiss him. Her lips were as soft as the light of first dawn. If he never believed in heaven before, maybe he did now.

Thena leaned back, her thumbs on his cheeks, "don't worry about me, Gil."

But he did. Every second of every day, he thought of her.

He was painfully in love with someone else's wife. "But-"

She kissed him again, more softly, and more chastely too, leaning back even quicker. "No buts, just try to rest. I can handle Kro."

Gil tried to protest again but Thena stood, leaving him alone on his little hay bale island. He blinked as she exited the tent, the warm glow inside contrasting the cold, blue light outside.

"Is he in there?"

"He's resting. Leave him be, Kro."

"Like hell I will. Bastard thinks he can put his hands on my wife?!"

Gil tried to get to his feet, stumbling to his knees at first. He tried again as the crack of a palm against a cheek sliced through the air. "Th-Thena?"

"He saved my life! More than you've ever done, and if I see you bothering him, I'll give the crowd something that will really scare them away and right out of your greedy hands."

He had never heard Thena raise her voice. He had seen her stand her ground with Kro, and he had no doubt she was as tough as a lady got, even with that brute of a husband. Maybe because of that brute of a husband.

"Ungrateful little whore."

"Call me whatever you want. Gilgamesh is not to leave his own sleeper car until he's healed."

She only ever called him Gil when they were alone.

"Fine, but the show goes on, even if the vet starts bleeding from the eyes."

Gil tried to stand again. He had to say that he would be fine. He couldn't let Thena be left alone with that devil. He groaned, managing to stand and take a few steps.

He only made it out of the tent in time to see Kro all but dragging Thena away, probably to berate her for talking back to him in front of the crew like that. But she turned and waved to him, assuring him of her well being.

Gil stood there, watching the woman he loved get dragged away by her husband. He couldn't make out any of the words his fellow crewmen and friends were chattering at him. All he was thinking about was how Thena had kissed him, and in such a way that could only mean that she loved him too.